Blood Of The Vines - Carquake

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we're in the driver's seat for three films that owe their existence to the auto industry. We have wine pairings for each film, although we encourage you to wait until you're safely home before uncorking the bottle. Or unscrewing the cap. Or tearing open the box.

The Italian Job is a 1969 British caper with laughs. Michael Caine and Noël Coward got plenty of bravos for their parts as crooks trying to steal a truckload of gold bullion in Italy. It's worth remembering while dealing with explosives, that "you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off." If you want more laffs, there is a wealth of comedic talent in the cast, including Bennie Hill.

The often copied Mini Cooper car chase should be used for entertainment purposes only. Do not try it at home, No matter how good a driver you think you are. You're not.

The wine pairing for a movie about Italian criminal activity should be one that was the subject of a crime, right? Several years ago, some nefarious types passed off cheapo wine as 2015 Bolgheri Sassicaia. A bottle costs close to $500. Just pray it hasn't had the doors blown off it.

In 1971's Vanishing Point, a stock car driver takes a bet to deliver a white Dodge Challenger R/T from Denver to San Francisco in 15 hours. If that sounds too easy, imagine doing that task with a police chase behind you. It doesn't sound like easy money now, does it?

It's said to be one of Steven Spielberg's favorite films, and it inspired Edgar Wright's 2017 car-a-palooza, Baby Driver. Vanishing Point vanished after only a couple of weeks in release, but it has since become a cult classic. It's an especially big trunk full of muscle car fun for people who go to the Friday Night Car Show at Bob's Big Boy.

Adobe Road Wines of Sonoma County has a full line of racing themed offerings. Their Redline Cabernet Sauvignon goes fast for $48.

The star in 1977's Grand Theft Auto is Ron Howard, who also directed it. But the big co-star is a Rolls Royce, which takes a beating throughout the film, a beating that's usually reserved for a demolition derby. Uh, spoiler alert. There is a demolition derby. The Rolls carries a young couple as they elope to Las Vegas, where there will be plenty of time for wine. 

A tip of the headset to the late L.A. legend The Real Don Steele, who has a role in the movie as, wait for it, a radio DJ. 

There are more Master Sommeliers in Sin City than in any other city in the world, so getting a recommendation shouldn't be a problem. Ordering that wine in a restaurant, if you're someone who looks a lot like Opie, means you'd better have your ID with you. For the Rolls Royce, only a Dom Perignon Champagne will do. At least at first. As the wear and tear on the vehicle mounts, you'll be looking for something cheap, maybe in a box. The Franzia Dark Red Blend is priced at $16 for a five liter box.

Nowadays people know GTA as a game, and in the GTA V edition, there is a virtual wine called Costa Del Perro, which translates to "coast of the dog," but you can only have that wine virtually, as a player in the game. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Nightmare Cinema

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, your worst nightmares get wine pairings. 

Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker was released in 1981 the first time around. You may have caught it in re-release, retitled as Night Warning. 

William Asher directed, and you may recognize his name from the early days of television. He directed Our Miss Brooks, I Love Lucy, and many other seminal series. He had a hand in Bewitched, too, on the TV screen. By the way, he was married to Elizabeth Montgomery at the time, everyone's favorite witch. Considering his sitcom beginnings, it's more than a little strange to see his talents go to a movie which features murder, incest, and homosexuality.

Jimmy McNichol got the starring role of Billy, the nice teenager who is gifted by the universe with some really terrible luck. Susan Tyrrell played the role of Billy's Aunt Cheryl, and she Baby Jane'd the hell out of it. There's a twist in the film, and as a result of it, you probably don't want to put Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker or Night Warning on your Mother's Day viewing card.

The Butcher Blaufränkisch hails from Burgenland, Austria. Don't fear the fränkisch, it's thought of as the Pinot Noir of the east due to its popularity in eastern Europe. In the US, some call it Lemberger. $25.

In 1994, Wes Craven's New Nightmare gave Freddy Krueger a new spin. In this seventh film in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, Krueger is a fictional character who gets into the real world to torment those who are making movies about him. How meta. 

It is a kick to see the actors and others associated with the film series as real and fictional characters. Even as real people, they're still actors portraying real people, pretending to interact with their actor selves. Whoa, man, I think I need to sit down for a minute.

The Elm Street movies are undeniably popular. I mean, they just keep on coming. I'm not watching them, but someone is. They scare me too much. I sit with my hand over my eyes, waiting for the Carfax Fox to make everything all better. "Maybe I'm watching too much television," he realizes, way too late to do anything about it. How meta. 

For a Wes Craven production, let's sip a bottle from Craven Wines of South Africa. No relation. From Chenin Blanc to Syrah, the Craven line sells for around $20 a bottle.

Nightmare Cinema comes from 2018 and is a horror anthology featuring segments directed by, among others, TFH's very own chief guru Joe Dante. There are also works included by Alejandro Brugués, TFH guru Mick Garris, Ryūhei Kitamura, and David Slade.

Mickey Rourke plays the projectionist at a movie theater that shows films depicting the worst fears of the audience. Yeah, I know, you thought that was Melania. Well, strap yourself in and get set for segments on slasher killers, sex demons and an alternate reality experienced while waiting for a doctor's appointment. Hey, wait, that's actually happened to me. My insurance didn't cover it.

Washington state winery The Walls has a Tempranillo they call a Wonderful Nightmare, Hemingway's description of the running of the bulls in Pamplona. I'll leave that sort of thing to other fools. A Nightmare Cinema sounds dangerous enough for me. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Down In The Valley

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we have three views of valley life, with a wine pairing for each. 

 First, let's go waaay down in the valley. The San Fernando Valley was home to a thriving pornography industry, back in the VHS days. 1997's Boogie Nights chronicled that era with maybe just a splash of celebration. It was written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, who also co-produced it. 

The film is a fascinating examination of 1970s SoCal porn. It provided Mark Wahlberg's big splash into movie stardom and gave us Burt Reynolds as the porn producer in a riveting role. For me, the movie is worth it just for a two-second montage in which Reynolds makes a drink, calls his dealer and snorts a line. That's some fine editing, there, friends. 

La Fiorita is the Italian wine project of former porn star Natalie Oliveros. Her Fiore di NO Brunello Montalcino has accumulated an impressive sheaf of reviews, and it sells for more than $100.

Valley Girl starred Deborah Foreman and Nicolas Cage back in 1983 as star-crossed San Fernando Valley lovers. The movie's one-sheet shows her pretty in pink and him bad in black. Well, as bad as a guy can look with no shirt and a necktie. It's an okay movie and it was decently received by critics and the general public alike. However, the funniest thing about the movie is the blurb describing it as "loosely based on the tragedy Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare." That’s a bit of a reach. And did the blurb writer really think it was necessary to attribute Shakespeare?

The film probably drew more inspiration from the song "Valley Girl," which was a hit the year before by Frank Zappa and his daughter Moon Unit, fer sure fer sure.

When a valley girl wants a great Cabernet Sauvignon, she turns to the north and grabs a bottle from Napa Valley. Castello di Amorosa has a great assortment, led by Il Barone at $110 a pop.

As if 1970 wasn't weird enough, we have Beyond the Valley of the Dolls to make it even weirder. Reviled by critics upon its release, Beyond was eaten up by younger movie goers at the time. It has even won over some of its critics, who now see its satire in a better light. 

Directed by Russ Meyer and co-written by him and Roger Ebert, this movie zips along like a pinball, bashing its ripped-from-real-life characters up against a script that was revised on the spur of every other moment. It's got music, dime store psychedelia, shameless melodrama, drugs, and a jaundiced world view. Meyer felt that's what the kids were looking for on the big screen, and he dished it up super-sized. 

Valley of the Moon Winery makes a Sonoma County Chardonnay that sells for about $20. Buttery but balanced. Don't make a habit of washing down your pills with it. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Shaken Not Stirred

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we have three James Bond films on the docket along with a wine pairing for each. And, no, Mr. Bond. We expect you to drink. 

The third film in the Bond series, Goldfinger hit movie screens in 1964. To match 007's expensive tastes, the movie raked in more than 100 million dollars, the first Bond film to do so. It was also the first Bond film to feature a hit single over the opening credits. Shirley Bassey's performance was a global hit. In smaller letters, it was also the first Bond film to have a theme song with vocals, a fact which Ms. Bassey surely appreciated. The title song made her career.

The sight of a beautiful woman covered in gold paint leads me to think of Buddy Ebsen. His body reacted badly to the aluminum dust used in his makeup for the role of the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz. That’s why he was replaced. Happily, Hollywood figured out how to make a safer base for full-body makeup, allowing Shirley Eaton to wear the gold paint in Goldfinger. 

The plot centers on a scheme to use a dirty bomb at Fort Knox to make off with the gold bullion. "Over my shaken martini," says Mr. Bond. 

In Goldfinger, Bond drank a Dom Perignon '53, along with mint juleps, fancy brandy, and his signature martini. One of my favorite moments in the TV series, The West Wing, is when the topic of James Bond arises and the president complains that Bond likes his martini "shaken, not stirred." POTUS points out that the act of shaking the cocktail chips the ice and creates a drink that is watered down, lamenting that Bond is "ordering a weak martini and being snooty about it."

But back to the Dom. If the thousands of dollars for a 1953 is out of your price range, try a 2017. It'll run you a couple of C-notes at least, but it is Dom Perignon. And the bottle is heavy enough to act as a shield in case Oddjob shows up. 

1969's On Her Majesty's Secret Service was the sixth installment in the James Bond series, and the first without Sean Connery in the role of 007. George Lazenby vaulted instantly from starring in TV advertisements for chocolates to being "Bond. James Bond." Life is good that way to some folks.  

Life was good to Diana Rigg, at least the professional side of it. She played the Bond girl here. The character was an Italian countess who became, in the film, Bond's wife - however briefly. Rigg had reportedly said that she always wanted to appear in an "epic film," and OHMSS was that. Rigg may have had a somewhat charmed acting life, but she suffered some great personal heartbreak along the way.

I am of the age that Diana Rigg as Emma Peel had a great "M. Appeal" for me as a pre-teen boy. We won't get into embarrassing specifics here, except to say that I was left with a lifelong search for a woman who could do a little judo hip-flip on me while entering a room.

Rigg reportedly had it in her contract for the BBC series Victoria that she would be served a cold bottle of prosecco as each day's shooting wrapped. You can go that way if you like - a $10 bottle of Italian bubbles - or you can lean into the Bond lifestyle and order an expensive Champagne. While you're leaning, extract a few Benjamins from your wallet.  Bond was no slouch when it came to booze. He liked Tattinger early in the film series. 

Dr. No, directed by Terence Young in 1962, was the first film in the James Bond series, Sean Connery played Bond opposite Ursula Andress.  Nice work if you can get it.  

Remember how you couldn't get away from spy shows in the '60s?  Dr. No is why. After the film's success, the spies all came in from the cold. The character Andress plays, by the way, is a shell diver. That's right, she sells sea shells by the seashore.

The movie is set in Jamaica, so how about pairing it with Jamaican wine?  Magnum Tonic Wine is actually mead, and is drunk by the locals "for medicinal purposes" and is also considered a sexual stimulant. That's all well and good, but you might find it easier to locate a Red Stripe beer, or a bottle of rum for your pairing pleasure. Or a big, fat spliff, mon.

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