BLOOD OF THE VINES - THE FASTEST GUITAR ALIVE

"The Fastest Guitar Alive" is one of those rock'n'roll movies that rock'n'roll would probably like to disown.  In fact, it may have driven rock'n'roll to drink - and it was doing all right in that department before this film came along in 1967.

It's Roy Orbison's only acting role - for a clue as to why, see the movie.  Fortunately, he didn't give up his day job so he could sit in a Hollywood apartment waiting for his agent to call with that next big offer.  According to TFH guru Allison Anders, Elvis Presley had first crack at this gem and turned it down.  Elvis must have already read the script for "Clambake" and decided that his Oscar was waiting to be picked up.

Roy Orbison - a great musical artist - lacks any sort of Elvis-esque charisma, a quality that just might have lifted this movie a notch or two.  Not to say his acting is wooden, but Roy could have been upstaged by a box of Lincoln Logs.

Orbison walks through this Civil War western carrying a guitar that doubles as a rifle.  Roy's guitar playing was not particularly fast, and the gun barrel that extends from his axe when called upon does so at a snail's pace, so the movie's title is a bit of a puzzler.  It must refer to the bullet that is fired from the guitar gun.  A hidden wine compartment might have proven to be more useful, but considering that he was working for the Confederacy, it probably would have contained Muscadine wine.

I don't even know where to start with the word "alive" in the title.  The last time I checked, guitars are inanimate objects.  Was the working title "The Fastest Guitar Player Alive," before the producers got a look at Orbison's strumming?  Does it have to be an old mill?

The Big O wrote and performed seven songs which appear in the movie, any of which are at least as good as the movie itself - and a lot shorter.  If you're screening this one at home, get that wine ready early - you're going to want it.  Suggested viewing activity: do a shot every time the gun barrel extends from the guitar.

Red Guitar Wine comes from the Navarro region of Spain.  Tempranillo and Garnacha are the varieties they bottle, and the vines are up to 100 years old - like many classic rock guitarists.  The website claims it was the Spanish who added a sixth string to whatever instrument they were playing back then, giving birth to the guitar and paving the way for a movie about a fast one.

More fast guitar wine stuff:

Rock Guitar Wine Rack - Pretty cool, if you don't mind dropping a C-note on a wine rack that only holds four bottles.  You can empty this one before the third reel.

Wooden Guitar Wine Bottle Holder - This one only holds one bottle - useless for me - but it's only $11. 

Guitar Wine Tote - This only holds one bottle, too, but I'll admit I'm intrigued.  $35

Dog Playing Guitar Wine Topper - This item sums up everything that's bad about wine-related chotchkies.  $16

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BLOOD OF THE VINES - THE COURT JESTER

Danny Kaye was one of my family's favorite entertainers when I was a kid.  His movie career was (mostly) before my time, although I relished seeing his films on television.  His variety show in the mid-'60s we never missed.  It was a bittersweet joy when he skipped that giant circle around the soundstage.  It was great fun, but it also signaled the end of that week's fun.

Kaye was known as much for his physical comedy as for his verbal jesting.  Both are on display in "The Court Jester."  In fact, our wine pairing for "The Court Jester" will be served this time in some very special glassware.  Just keep in mind that a witch dropped a poison pellet into one of the vessels.

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!"  No, wait.  "The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon.  The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true."  What a mess.  It's a good thing they called off the toast.

Speaking of toast, Danny Kaye was quite a whiz in the kitchen.  His work as a chef earned him the "Les Meilleurs Ouvriers de France" culinary award.  He was the only person to gain that honor who was not a professional in the culinary arts.  His specialty was Chinese cuisine.

Kaye was remembered in an article by Ruth Reichl in the Los Angeles Times after his death in 1987.  According to Reichl, Kaye liked to talk of the French chefs who said, "the best restaurant in California is at Danny Kaye's house."

As if comedy, acting, singing, dancing and cooking weren't enough - oh, and he was a pretty fair golfer, too - Kaye was also an accomplished pilot and a huge baseball fan.

"Life could not better be."

Let's go Italian by way of Australia for something to pair with "The Court Jester."  

Mitolo Jester Vermentino - Frank Mitolo lets his Italian heritage show through in this Australian Vermentino from McLaren Vale.  Its flavors - like Kaye's comedy - are crisp, fresh and very approachable.  Try it with Chinese take out.  $22

Some other handy wine items:

The Danny Kaye Theater at the Culinary Institute of America New York campus is where cooking demonstrations and wine tastings for the Institute are held.

Mardi Gras Jester Wine Bottle Holder - At $32, you'd better down a hefty portion of the Jester Vermentino to make clicking that "BUY" button a little easier.

Mardi Gras Jester Wine Bottle Holder - Oh, wait, here's one for only $28!

The Cork Jester - A wine writer/sommelier with the vessels to prove it.

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BLOOD OF THE VINES - THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS

In "The Beast With Five Fingers,"  the severed hand of a dead piano player comes back from the grave to... play the piano some more!  There's plenty of melody in those ghostly tunes, even though the hand appears to be a left hand.  If that were true, wouldn't it just be playing the bass notes?  Aah, I 'm overthinking it, again.  A dead hand plays the piano and all I can think of is "It's the wrong hand!"  Hey, is that a class ring on its finger?

I shouldn't be so quick to point fingers.  The music the hand plays turns out to be Bach's Violin Partita in D minor - but it's Brahms' transcription for the left hand!  Those movie makers think of everything.

The hand actually came back to do more than play a few scales.  It's a dangerous hand, a killer hand - even more killer than aces and eights, known as the "dead man's hand."  That's the hand Wild Bill Hickok was holding when he was murdered in Deadwood, South Dakota - but I fear I'm losing my grip on the article.

When you get your hands on this film, you might want to hold hands - if only to make sure your left hand knows what the right hand is doing.  Then put your hands together for the filmmaker, Robert Florey.  No need to give him a hand, he's already got an extra.  Now, hand me a bottle of wine.

What better wine to pair with the five-fingered beast than Owen Roe's Sinister Hand Grenache?  I could hand you a lot of digits - 70% Grenache, 25% Syrah, 3% Mourvedre, 2% Counoise - but let's just say the label pictures a severed hand.  There's a gruesome story that goes with it, too, if you click their link.

Handing out some more wines:

Two Hands Wines - You'll need both hands to handle this Australian negociant's whopper Shiraz.

Six Hands Winery - The fingerprints of the Sacramento River Delta are all over these wines.

14 Hands - A Washington winery named for the height of the wild horses which once populated eastern Washington.  14 hands is not very tall in horse jargon, but it's a lot of hands by anyone's count.

Sleight of Hand Cellars - You've gotta hand it to Washington - another hand-related winery.  Don't try and palm a bottle on your way out of the tasting room for a five-finger discount.

Purple Hands Wines - This Oregon producer shows what happens when hand meets grape.  

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PRINCESS BRIDE WINE? AS YOU WISH!

In my position as author of Blood Of The Vines - and the wine and movie pairing guru for Trailers From Hell- I try to keep up with what's going on where the film and wine worlds collide.  That facet of the job doesn't keep me extremely busy, but I try to make it look like I'm swamped.

Across my digital desk comes news from the Alamo Drafthouse.  In case you are not familiar with them, the Alamo Drafthouse screens movies you can watch while enjoying a beer and even dinner, if you like.  Now you can add a special wine to the list of options.

Alamo Drafthouse has commissioned a pair of wines to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the film, "The Princess Bride."  The "Bottle of Wits" line - named after the scene in the movie known as the "battle of wits" - offers two varieties to choose from.  "Inconceivable Cab" and "As You Wish White" will be available for purchase at all Alamo Drafthouse locations beginning February 14, 2012.  The wines will cost $7 per glass and $28 per bottle.

Their blog states that both wines will "most likely be iocane free," although governmental regulations will prevent that bit of inside humor from appearing on the label.

The "Inconceivable Cab" is a California Cabernet Sauvignon, while the "As You Wish White" is a California white blend.  That's not a lot go on in wine tasting circles - I couldn't find a tech sheet on the wines - but maybe the movie-goers will just want to concentrate on how they taste, rather than why they taste that way.

"The Princess Bride" will be screened as part of the Valentine's Day celebration and a Quote-Along Feast features a five-course dinner - paired with the wines, of course.

The Alamo Drafthouse operates theaters in Texas (Austin, Houston and San Antonio), Colorado, Virginia and Washington D.C.

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BLOOD OF THE VINES - THE ST. VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE

Valentine's Day isn't all greeting cards, wine and candy hearts.  Despite the obvious love connection of February 14th, there is a strong anti-Valentine's Day sentiment out there, too.  Our wine choices will deal with both sides of that heart-shaped coin, while our movie choice for V-Day breaks out the tommy guns.

If you are among the anti-Valentine's Day crowd, you should find "The St. Valentine's Day Massacre" right up your alley.  You'll enjoy it - all alone, we guess - with some of the nastier beverages we have selected.  If you like Valentine's Day, and are lucky enough to have a sweetheart with whom you will share your sweet hearts, you won't even bother with the television.  We have some nice, loving wine ideas for you.

"The St. Valentine's Day Massacre" was the esteemed Roger Corman's first studio picture.  It's a hard-hitting look at the fabled gangland killing of a bunch of Chicago mobsters.  

If Corman had gotten his way, Orson Welles would have starred as Al Capone.  The studio convinced Corman that Welles was undirectable and Jason Robards got the role.  After viewing outtakes from a Paul Masson "California Champagne" TV commercial in which Welles was the spokesman, maybe they were right.  But, hey, he stops when the director says "cut," doesn't he?  That seems directable to me.

If the movie doesn't fit into your Valentine's Day plans - and, by all rights, it shouldn't - maybe we can tempt you with a nice bottle of wine for your sweetheart.  A lot of wines would be appropriate for the day, but some are more appropriate than others.

Valentine Vineyard has been owned by Bob Valentine since 1987.  The Valentine wines have won so many awards, the mantle has broken off the fireplace.  The vineyard is in Mendocino County, and if you were to throw a wine bottle from there you could probably hit the Alexander Valley appellation, although we don't condone such behavior.  The "heart-in-the-V" logo makes for a nice gift, this month especially.

You'll heart these, too:

Domaine Cheveau Saint Amour En Rontey 2009 - From the Beaujolais cru named for love.  $23

Iron Horse Wedding Cuvée Brut 2007 - Tinted pink, this bubbly pairs well with wedding cake (hint, hint).  $25

Rosenblum Cellars Desirée Chocolate Dessert Wine - Zin, Syrah and Touriga Nacional infused with chocolate. $20

Terra Valentine Winery, Napa Valley - Terra means earth, and Valentine pays tribute to owner Angus Wurtele's father, Valentine Wurtele.  You can even stay at Villa Valentine, with its beautiful view at the top of the hill (hint, hint).

Valentine'n'Wine in Ventura County - Perhaps a little wine tasting getaway is just what Cupid ordered.

Temecula Wine Country events - There's plenty of activity in Temecula for lovers of all sorts, especially wine lovers.

No more candy hearts, please:

Bitch Bubbly - I haven't tasted it, but I'd guess it teases without delivering.  Should I mention, it's cheap?  $8

Stone Brewing Company "Double Bastard" Strong Ale - Give a bottle to someone you used to love.  $8

Anti-Valentine's Day card - A weak effort, but if you hate Valentine's Day this much, you probably won't buy any cards to announce that fact, anyway.

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BLOOD OF THE VINES - GRAND THEFT AUTO

When Ron Howard's first film, "Grand Theft Auto," was made, I thought great wine was the Spanada my mom kept in the fridge.  I don't know how mom would feel about her favorite beverage being relegated to the category of "bum wine," but at  $7.70 for a magnum, it would seem to come in on the high side of that politically incorrect spectrum.

1977 was not a great wine year for me, but I recall it was a good vintage for Miller Genuine Draft.  I also recall I had great tan that summer, for the last time ever.  TFH guru Joe Dante says his first wine was Boone's Farm.  Our tastes in beverages changed for the better.  But just as there are some occasions that simply call for a can of beer, there are times when all we really need in a movie is a lot of action.

GTA - the movie, not the video game - is a rip-roarin', white-knuckle ride featuring car chases, a souped-up Rolls Royce, a police car, of course, and a lot of stuff getting blown up.  

Daddy's little girl rips off the Rolls and heads for Vegas to get married quickie style while everybody and their dee jay chases after.  A great performance by the late Real Don Steeleas the helicopter jockey is the highlight of the movie.  Well, you had to expect that comment since I'm a lifelong broadcaster.  

I worked for several years in the same building with Real.  I'm sure he didn't know my name, but he smiled and said "Hey, baby" every day as he passed me on his way in.  I always half expected him to flip me the keys to his Cadillac and ask me to have it washed and fueled while he was on the air.  But there was someone else employed to do that.  Tina Delgado is alive - ALIVE!

Grand Theft Auto is the name of the crime people keep committing during this film, and it's only natural that those stolen cars end up in a demolition derby climax.  More movies should take this way out.  The critics weren't driven to praise the film, but it made a truck full of cash at the box office.

There's not a lot of wine in this movie - thankfully, judging from the driving habits exhibited - but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying some while watching it.  You might try some that's made in a place where these cars could have ended up after filming.

Cerro Caliente Cellars is a San Luis Obispo winery located in a working garage.  Their wines are full-throttle single-vineyard Central Coast beauties.  Check their "Multi Viscosity" line at $36 each.  Their tasting room is decorated for gear-heads and, presumably, they have plenty of those red shop rags handy in case of spills.

Some other junk in the trunk:

Pismo Beach Classic Car Show - A car show in wine country?  I'm there.

Derose Vineyards - Near Hollister, California, Derose offers a line of wines named and labeled after classic cars.

Classic Car Wines by B.R. Cohn - More classic car labels, this time from Sonoma County.

Rolls Royce Wine Carrier - Stick this baby in the boot and open in case of emergency.

Krug's Rolls Royce Delivery Van - Maybe the perfect mix of vintage wine and vintage auto.

Race Car Wine Caddy - How is your man cave bar getting along without this?

Prince Charles' car runs on wine - and it was taken for a spin by the royal newlyweds.

Car runs on wine and cheese - Gas isn't expensive enough?

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BLOOD OF THE VINES: KING OF COMEDY

In Martin Scorsese's "King of Comedy," Robert De Niro plays Rupert Pupkin, a demented fan obsessed with the late-night talk show host played by Jerry Lewis.  If De Niro's digs in Taxi Driver creeped you out, what did you think of his basement room in this movie?  The fake talk show set - complete with cardboard cutouts of host and guests - and the pencil-drawn audience to which he works while fantasizing about being the funny man onstage take delusion to new heights.

I began to wonder what kind of wine Rupert Pupkin would drink.  All I could think of were the cheesy one-liners printed on a thousand and one wine-related knick-knacks.  As I heard them in my head - in Pupkin's voice - they seemed to fit perfectly. 

"Wine gets better with age - the older I get, the better I like it." (rim shot)

"I cook with wine.  Sometimes I even get it in the food." (drum roll)

"I have a bottle of wine every night except when I don't feel well.  Then I have two." (ba-dum-bum)

"Wine - it's why I get out of bed every afternoon." (thunderous applause, weeping Pupkin blows kisses as he takes a bow)

As Pupkin might say in transition, "But seriously, folks," Robert De Niro is quite the wine connoisseur.  He has a taste for Italian wine - no surprise there - but he also holds the wines of director Francis Ford Coppola in high regard.  He detailed a couple of Coppola's best in his 

address at the 2010 Governors Awards.

The 2008 Directors Cut Cinema Sonoma County is not the '07 De Niro fondly remembers, but they say it will entice fans of Super Tuscans.  $23

Coppola's 2006 Rubicon Estate "Rubicon" Rutherford Red Blend should do nicely if you can't lay your hands on on the '91 Propritary Blend. $119

More? Funny you should ask...

Keep your eyes open for an Argentine wine called Rodrigo Mendoza.  That is said to be the name with which De Niro will label his wine if and when he closes the deal on a Mendoza vineyard. 

Viña Cobos uNico Mendoza 2006 - Until Rodrigo Mendoza appears, De Niro can probably spring for this $180 bottle and not hurt a bit.  Wine critic Robert Parker bestowed 96 of his prized points on this blend of 67% Cabernet Sauvignon and 33% Malbec.

Martin Scorsese did a short film for Spanish Cava producer Freixenet called "The Key To Reserva."  There are some pretty good takes on Hitchcock in it.

The Tribeca Grill Cookbook - De Niro wrote the introduction to this culinary tome featuring recipes from his famed NYC eatery.

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BLOOD OF THE VINES: DAUGHTER OF DR. JEKYLL

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If you spend a lot of online time atTrailersFromHell.com, you probably have an affinity for the low-budget horror films of the 1950s.  Off-kilter story lines, scenery chewing, on-screen gaffes - not a problem!  In fact, bring 'em on!  That's what we came here for.

"Daughter of Dr. Jekyll" is right in your wheelhouse.  It's low-budget horror of the highest degree.

Gloria Talbott learns she is Dr. Jekyll's daughter and, not surprisingly, her life takes a downward turn.  Fearing a split personality which mirrors that of the good doctor/bad doctor, she thinks she's a monster who "prowls the night, lusting for blood," as the trailer indicates.  She's fairly distraught about all this.  She's not sleeping well.  Mysterious stains appear on the nightgown, and it's not spilled wine.  People are beginning to ask questions about the gruesome murders that occur at night after she closes the bedroom door.

The film was released in 1957 on a double bill with "The Cyclops," and that's a great way to watch it even today.  Oddly, both films star Gloria Talbott.  It's that split personality thing.

John Agar - who was apprently in between John Wayne movies at the time - wears a striped jacket that makes him look like a cross between a circus barker and a soda jerk.  I can only guess that he must have shown up at the wrong wardrobe department on the first day of shooting.  Make a drinking game out of his appearances in that silly getup and you may end up with a split personality in addition to a splitting headache in the morning.

Pairing wine with this movie might be as easy as grabbing the first thing you see where you keep your booze.  "John Agar's jacket is driving me to drink!"   But we always take a little more care than that when selecting our pairings.  Not much, but a little more.

Let Gloria Talbott play the bad daughter.  Good Daughter Wines has a Chardonnay to balance out the picture.  It's made from what the winery calls "gently farmed grapes" in cool climate North Coast California vineyards.  There's just enough oak from which to fashion a stake in case things get out of hand.  It's low budget, too - about $11 per bottle.

More drinking daughters:

Farmer's Daughter Wine - From Australia's Mudgee region, northwest of Sydney, the Farmer's Daughter line ranges from $18 to $30.

Channing Daughters Winery - These wines hail from the North Fork of New York's Long Island.  $17 - $42.

Seven Daughters Wine - California wines that pair beautifully with their cheesy website.  $14

Rancher's Daughter - A wine store in Montgomery, Texas featuring only Texas wines.  Operated by a pair of rancher's daughters, no less.

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BLOOD OF THE VINES: THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR

It would happen this way:  You may be walking one day and a car will slow down beside you.  A door will open and someone you you know - perhaps someone you trust - will smile and offer you... a bottle of wine.

The 1970s brought a new kind of spy movie to us - the kind where the government wears the black hat.  These modern spies are corporate killers who do what they do not for love of anything.  They do what they do because that's what the memo said to do.

Robert Redford may not be the spy in "Three Days of the Condor," but he sure has the thrill-a-minute life foisted upon him.  This guy can't pick up the mail without dodging bullets.  Of course, nowadays that's not so unusual.  Don't watch this movie if you skipped giving your mailman a holiday tip.

Redford's character - a CIA researcher - wants to come in from the cold, only to find he's already in and the air conditioning is stuck on 32.  He's so cold he has to open the fridge to get warm - not to mention there might be a postman in there.  It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.

Redford's code name is "Condor," and the tactics the government uses in trying to keep him quiet sure have him feeling like an endagered species.  Max Von Sydow will make you feel like that.  Blood doesn't run colder than that of his character.  Things do heat up a bit for Condor when Faye Dunaway realizes things could be worse than playing hostage to a guy who looks like Redford.  

Now the car slows down, and the smiling man offers a refreshing drink of wine.  

Condor's Hope Vineyard is named for its location in Santa Barbara County where condors are released into the wild.  The winery releases big Zinfandels and Shiraz into the wild, but only 400 cases at a time.  Most of their wines sell for under $20.  They might be a little hard to find, but that's how condors are.  If you order some, you might want to get it sent by FedEx.

I spy some other wines:

Condor Wines Northwest - I love wines with a purpose, and the purpose of this eastern Washington winery is hunger relief in Peru.  The wines are produced and bottled by Elk Cove Vineyards of Gaston, Oregon.  They are named after the condor, the national bird of Peru.  Their 2008 Barbera is $25.

Penley Estate Condor - Located in the Coonawarra Valley in the southeastern part of Australia, The Condor wine is a bold Shiraz Cabernet Sauvignon blend, so named for the strength and stamina of the condor.  $20

Spy Valley Wines - From New Zealand's Marlborough region, there's a good variety of wine for under $20.

Wine Spies - An online wine retailer that sells it "spy-style," with operative notes and descriptive dossiers on their offerings.

Spy Wine Cooler commercial - Here's what happens when too many condors fly over your car.

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BLOOD OF THE VINES: THE MAN FROM HONG KONG

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"The Man From Hong Kong" is cited as the first Australian/Hong Kong production in cinematic history, as well as the first Australian martial arts film.  Trailers From Hell guru Brian Trenchard-Smith got his directorial start with this film, and he has some nice tidbits to offer in his TFH clip.

A martial arts movie with fists a-flying and kicks a-plenty, "The Man From Hong Kong" stars Jimmy Wang-Yu and George Lazenby.  Lazenby plays a bad guy, as opposed to the good guy he played in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service."  You may have heard of that character before.  Bond.  James Bond.

The co-stars apparently had some bad luck doing their own stunts.  Lazenby's arm was burned while trying unsuccesfully to remove a flaming jacket in one scene.  The experience probably left him shaken, not stirred.  Wang-Yu was knocked silly in a fall from a hang glider.  

Trenchard-Smith is reported to have barely escaped injury when an exploding cars' door flew farther than expected and nearly clobbered him.  Ah, all in a day's work.  That's show biz.  Get my agent on the phone.

The action is practically nonstop in this movie, so if you like your Kung Fu heavy on the physical stuff, load up the DVD.  There are only about 18 minutes of dialogue in the 100-plus minutes the film runs.

Pop music afficionados will note that the song "Sky High," by the one-hit-wonder Jigsaw, was used over the credits.  The music often adds a lot to a furious fists a-flyin' flick, but this choice seems fairly anemic and after-market.  It's as if it had been decided afterward that a hit song was needed somewhere in the mix.  It's energetic, and "blown it all sky high" certainly fits the action film mold.  It's no "Eye Of The Tiger," though.

Now, for a wine to sip while watching a martial arts movie.  We've had tougher assignments than this.  It didn't take long to find a Hong Kong connection to fit the bill.  The trouble is, the bill is too high.  Sky high.

The 8th Estate Winery bills itself as Hong Kong's only urban winery.  They source grapes from Australia, Italy and Washington state and ship them to Hong Kong after flash-freezing them.  This, I suppose, allows their label to say "product of Hong Kong."  It's an expensive way to 

make wine, and it shows on the winery's website.  There, they announced their Christmas sale: "$1200 for 6 HK wines!!"  Pardon my gasp.  If you find yourself in Hong Kong wanting to do a tasting there, it's only $80 for a flight of four.  That's even pricier than Napa Valley.  An Asian social/food site claims the wait time for a table at the winery is one minute.  No doubt.  Who can afford to stay longer?

Now let's explore some wines from a little lower on the sales shelf.  Hong Kong is in love with Bordeaux, and "The Man From Hong Kong" was an Aussie venture.  Maybe we can find some suitable wines that don't kick quite so hard at the wallet as those Hong Kong imports.

Furious Fists Find More Affordable Wines

K&L Wines shows a shipping container full of Bordeaux for less than $20 per bottle.  The 2008 Trebiac Graves is said to taste like a $30 bottle, which is a good impersonation for a $14 bottle to carry off.

The comedy troupe Monty Python once cited the fictitious "Melbourne Old-And-Yellow" as a "good fighting wine," particularly in hand-to-hand combat.  Australia's Fighting Gully Road is a winery located in Beechworth, Victoria.  They do a little Shiraz, but their vineyards are planted mostly to Pinot Noir and Cabernet Sauvignon.  Their Shiraz goes for $32, their Pinot for only $25.

It should be easier to find Mollydooker's 2010 "The Boxer" Shiraz, a South Australian wine with amazing power.  $24

If the Man From Hong Kong had shopped around a little, perhaps he wouldn't be quite so angry.

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