Dead Calm is an Australian film from 1989. Great performances from Nicole Kidman, Sam Neill, and Billy Zane keep the movie afloat, along with some great oceanographic cinematography. Kidman and Neill play a couple who are out cruising the world on their yacht to try and forget their troubles. Natch. Isn't that what everybody does?
Trouble paddles to their vessel in the form of a guy who says he abandoned a sinking ship where all the others died of food poisoning. A likely story. Hubby rows off to find the soon-to-be shipwreck and discovers that the other passengers didn't die from something they ate. Wifey and the stranger are alone on the yacht, staying busy trying to kill each other. What a vacation.
The wine pairing for Dead Calm has to be Australian, and I've got the perfect bottle. I consulted AI for some help, and AI says that Penfolds Grange Shiraz "is a favorite choice for premium yacht experiences." Well, at $800 a bottle, it had better be considerably more premium than the yacht experience in Dead Calm.
Don't put your credit card away just yet. We have another top shelf wine for the 1978 Jaws parody, Piranha. The Roger Corman production, directed by TFH chief guru Joe Dante, requires a wine that will take a bite out of the ol' paycheck.
While Jaws had only one fish - okay, it was a pretty big fish - Piranha has a whole school of the fanged demons chewing up the scenery, and anything else into which they can sink their teeth. A Piranha attack is something which has fascinated me all my life, and apparently Dante was similarly taken with the idea of a bunch of fish picking a carcass clean.
You have to love the script's plan to kill the piranhas by opening up the waste tank at a smelting plant and preventing them from making it into the open water of the ocean. It may be the only time in movie history that industrial waste was penned as the good guy. Did the plan go awry and allow the killers to spawn a sequel? Does a fish have teeth?
For those of us who like really good wine, and don't care how much we pay for it, try Sine Qua Non's Piranha Waterdance Syrah. I'm not on their mailing list, but I hear this wine sells in some places for a little under $300. Don't ask me how, but it sells in other places for $1,800. I would love to join their wine club, but my wife would throw me into a pool of piranhas if I did.
1955's It Came from Beneath the Sea features a giant octopus that was made radioactive by nuclear testing in the Pacific. Stop-motion genius Ray Harryhausen did the special effects. This big mollusc makes the best of his atomic-age misfortune, pulling ships underwater, eating unwary beachgoers, and attacking the Golden Gate Bridge.
Those who fight giant radioactive creatures decide that an electrified fence in the ocean is the answer. What happens when you electrocute a giant octopus? That's right, you just make him mad. It's the Godzilla Syndrome.
You don’t need me to tell you that everything works out well, for the humans. The threat is neutralized, the bridge is saved, and all the Italian restaurants in North Beach have a special on polpo that night.
So, have a nice Vermentino. Stellato makes a great single-vineyard Vermentino from Sardegna. It has the smell of the ocean, the hallmark of a good Vermentino. And it sells for about $30. That's a screaming deal, coming after the first two wines in this article.
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