Blood Of The Vines - Fatal Femmes

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌  ‌‌‌See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ ‌ This week we spotlight some not-so-ladylike ladies, and offer a wine pairing for each film.

I should apologize in advance for all the nasty things we’ll be saying about the following women. In film noir, the double standard is alive and well. A man can be a "playboy," while a woman exhibiting the same qualities is branded with a more insulting term. Me, I'm just a writer, unless you see me as a hack. In which case, I’m just playing the cards I was dealt.

You may think we had bigger worries in 1960 than The Leech Woman, but you’d be wrong. No, she’s not a gold digger. Nor is she an ex-wife with a large alimony payment. She's just a middle-aged woman yearning for her lost youth. Like some sort of scientific vampiress, she gets her vim and vigor by taking it from the men she kills. The more, the merrier. 

At some point, she runs out of men and has to extract the life potion from a woman. That’s when things get all topsy-turvy for her. What is it women say? "Never trust another woman with your anti-aging regimen?" I think it goes something like that.

A NYC movie review rag, Harrison's Reports, called this strip of celluloid "very good." I don’t know if the review had anything to do with it, but HR was out of business less than two years later. The quote may be out of context, taken from a sentence like, "This movie is not very good." But I’m not making any excuses for an eight-page newsletter put together with staples.

There was once a thing called Bald's Eyesalve, made from wine, leeks, garlic, and cow bile. I don’t think this is what's in the eyedrops they use at the Stein Institute, but don't quote me on that. The pairing for The Leech Woman is Beach Leech, from Pool Wines of Australia. It has to be better than the name sounds. It’s a full-blooded Marsanne for less than $30. 

1959's The Wasp Woman must have thrown entomologists for a loop.  Our lovely vespula germanica was also known cinematically as The Bee Girl and more generically as Insect Woman. But what's in a name, eh?

The film was produced and directed by the great Roger Corman, who knew how to squeeze the sting out of every last dollar. The Wasp Woman is about a lady, and we use the term loosely, who owns a cosmetics company. Her customers notice the wrinkles starting to increase, so she dips into the wasp jelly in the research lab. She finds her fountain of youth, but it comes with a hefty retail sticker, even for cosmetics.

The secret formula does take years off the appearance of our B-girl, but it does not convey the gift of flight, something that would have come in handy in the film's final scenes.

If you find a bottle of wine with drowned wasps floating in it, the maker was probably trying the same trick our femme fatale used. Alcohol infused with wasps are thought to carry health benefits. It's definitely an under-the-counter concoction, though.

Wasps are essential for spreading the natural yeasts which are needed for making wine. The Fableist Wine Company of Paso Robles gets it. Their line of Aesop-inspired wines has in it a nod to The Butterfly and the Wasp. Look not at what you were, but at what you are. This $25 rosé is made from Grenache and Blaufrankisch grapes. The alcohol is kinda low, so you will have to drink a lot of it to get, uh, buzzed.

Beverly Michaels gets the starring role in 1953's Wicked Woman. She plays a waitress who aims to take the place of her employer's drunk wife. When their little secret gets out, well, you know what they say about the best laid plans - and the best planned lays.

Let's refer to the one sheets: "She’s nothing but trouble… every voluptuous inch of her." "She uses sex the way a hoodlum uses a loaded gun." "She lives up to every scarlet letter of her name." "They called her wicked, but they didn’t know the half of it." Any blurb writer will tell you, it's more fun to write about bad people than good ones.

One of those publicity photos shows this femme fatale with an almost sympathetic face, as if she regrets in advance what she is about to do. The working title of the low-budget noir was Free and Easy. This gal may have been one, but not the other.

Clouds Rest makes a Sonoma Coast Pinot Noir which bears the name Femme Fatale.  Be warned, it’s expensive - as is any femme fatale worth her one-sheets. The 2017 vintage runs $100. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Hope Springs Eternal

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌  ‌‌‌See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ ‌ This week we pair wines with movies featuring ol' Ski Nose himself, Bob Hope. 

Road to Utopia was released in 1946, but it was filmed three years earlier. It took so long to hit the silver screen that narrator Robert Benchley died before it was finally released. It wasn't the delay that got him, it was cirrhosis of the liver. The film's release may have been held back by the studio. Bing Crosby had another picture in the works in which he played a priest, and the two roles would have clashed with one another. Turned out to be a good call. He won an Oscar for Going My Way.

Hope, Crosby, and Dorothy Lamour star in this Road film, as they do in two of the other three. I love that Benchley narrates the movie. He is a lifelong favorite of mine. I know for a fact I was the only 6th grader at Robert E. Lee Elementary School checking out Benchley's books from the school library. Yes, Robert E. Lee. In Jefferson County, Texas. As in Jefferson Davis. Where I grew up, they thought that Civil War thing was rigged. Kinda makes me wonder how Robert Benchley made it into that school library.

In Utopia, two vaudeville entertainers… guess who… are headed to Alaska to make a fortune. All they need is some sort of a treasure map. Well, whadda ya know? Here's one right here. And that, my friends, is how a script comes together. 

The critics loved Utopia, as did the public. The film got rave reviews and it did boffo box office. There must have been plenty of Champagne corks a-poppin' at Paramount after someone went out and got the papers.

For pairing with Road to Utopia, we sure could use a wine that has a fabulous trio headed up by Hope. Well, whadda ya know? Here's one right here. Austin Hope Rhône Blend, a Paso Robles concoction starring Grenache, Syrah, and Mourvèdre, one of the more fabulous trios in the wine world. It sells for about $60.

The Ghost Breakers is a 1940 horror-comedy starring Hope and Paulette Goddard. The movie has an accidental stowaway, a haunted house, a secret passageway and a zombie. What more do you want from a horror-comedy? It was well received by critics and ticket-buyers at the time, although some of the humor definitely hasn't aged well. 

In this film genre, the laughs don't get in the way of the screams, they feed off one another. Nothing makes it easier to laugh than a good fake scare. Actually, alcohol makes it pretty easy to laugh. That's why comedy clubs have a two-drink minimum. 

Let's pair a wine from Silver Ghost Cellars with Ghost Breakers. I know, I know. Rule #1 in horror movies is don't go into the cellar. However, if that's where the wine is, that's where we're going. Silver Ghost makes a really decent Napa Cab. The $45 price tag shouldn't scare you.

Road To Morocco is another Hope, Crosby, and Lamour vehicle. Jokes, songs, camels, and Dorothy Lamour in 1942. It was destined for greatness

Speaking of Camels, the show opens and closes with shipboard explosions caused by cigarette smoking. One of the great things about movies is that you can survive all the explosions they throw at you, as long as you are the star of the picture.

You know, when I think of Morocco, I often think of Morocco Mole, Secret Squirrel's sidekick. With the fez and smoking jacket, he was a dead ringer for Peter Lorre. Voice artist Paul Frees did a pitch perfect Lorre impersonation. Which makes me think of Peter Lorre saying, "Help me, Reeek! You must help me!" That’s a whole 'nother movie, though. *singing* Allons enfants de la Patrie…

The 2014 Ouled Thaleb Moroccan White Blend is made from 60% Faranah grapes and 40% Clairette, aged in stainless steel tanks.  The Faranah grape is indigenous to Morocco, but the Clairette is French, probably a holdover from the country's days as a French colony. A Moroccan wine with a French pedigree, for only $14. 

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Blood Of The Vines - TV Behind The Scenes

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we have wine pairings for three films that give us a look at TV, behind the scenes.

John Candy's career, like a wine you really liked, was gone far too soon. Sometimes it seems we had only just opened the bottle when suddenly there was no more to enjoy. Candy left more than a dozen movies behind, as well as some cherished memories of the television classic, SCTV, a behind-the-scenes experience itself. He did Delirious in 1991, giving us another peek into the workings of a TV show.

Candy co-starred with quite a cast, including Mariel Hemingway, Jerry Orbach, and Raymond Burr in his last screen role. It's fitting that these actors all had successes of their own on what we laughingly refer to as the small screen. Mine is 55 inches and takes up a good expanse of a wall in my living room.

Candy plays a soap opera writer who can make things happen just by writing them. Imagine how valuable that old Selectric would have been to you with that gift. It's a bump on the head that sends him senseless, then superpowered. However, a great idea does not a good movie make. Just ask eight out of ten people who have seen Delirious. At least that many critics also agree, so it's not just disgruntled movie-goers blowing a raspberry.

I would expect to like a movie such as this, as behind-the-scenes-entertainment is a favorite topic of mine. I also like movies about time travel, football, and wine, if anybody wants to try and make me happy. Please, form a line, not everyone at once.

Did you know that Oprah has a TV soap opera called The Kings of Napa? Neither did I. Now I have to figure out what channel Spectrum puts OWN on. Before I go down that rabbit hole, let me pair Delirious, the wine, with Delirious, the movie. From Austria's Burgenland region, this white wine features Gelber Muskateller as the star grape. It was called Yellow Muscat until the blurb writer bumped his head. It should run you about $15.

Also in 1991, Soapdish centered on a soap opera, too. Was there something in Hollywood's water supply that year? Soap, possibly? As I swirl a sample now, yes, I do get a slight lanolin sensation. 

Soapdish is actually a soap opera about a soap opera. Nobody gets hit in the head here, but you see the action coming from the first act. An actor's ultimatum leads to a live episode of the daily melodrama, which in turn leads to someone with brain fever being written out of the show. I love it when art imitates art.

This film ran the risk of culture cancellation since a transgender woman is made out to be the villain. The film survives, but the character in question winds up doing her acting amid the clatter of dishes in a dinner theater. A stage adaptation got workshopped and a television version amounted to a lot of industry people shuffling papers and clearing their throats. It still has an office somewhere at Paramount.

The 1980s soap opera Falcon Crest was set in the make-believe wine country of Tuscany Valley. Much like fava beans, soap operas go well with a fine Chianti. At least, that's what it says here. The San Felice Chianti Classico knocked me out when I tasted it. No, I wasn't hit on the head. Depending on your taste, a bottle will cost anywhere from $20 to $50.

2002's Death to Smoochy was directed by Danny DeVito, who also appeared in the film, along with Robin Williams, Edward Norton, Jon Stewart and a host of immediately recognizable character actors. Despite the wealth of talent, Smoochy died a thousand deaths. To say that nobody liked it would be inaccurate, but not too far off the mark. 

Williams plays the host of a TV kiddie show who suffers a debilitating scandal and loses everything he holds dear. How could a comedy with that premise not find an audience? Well, you could ask Bobcat Goldthwait. He did Shakes the Clown a decade before Smoochy, to a similar absence of ticket purchasers. Obviously the general public doesn't see the humor in these movies like I do. 

The disgraced kiddie host funnels his anger towards his replacement, a guy who plays the character of Smoochy the Rhino. Even though Smoochy is the target of numerous failed attempts to get him off the show, it’s his cousin Moochy who ends up at the morgue. I'm not worried about this spoiler paragraph. It's not like knowing who dies is going to spoil it for you.

American Vintners' Smooch line does not appear to be available anymore in those cute little single-serve bottles. Too bad for the airline industry. But, if you're up for an adventure, seek out Bushy Run Winery's Sunset Smooch. Located outside of Pittsburgh, and using fruit other than grapes for their wine, adventure might be a generous term. But I hear it pairs nicely with food that has fries piled on top, Pittsburgh style.

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Blood Of The Vines - Lords Of Illusion

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. For my next trick, a little escapism. Movie magic, from serious to comedic, with wine pairings appearing for each one. 

My initial impression of Harry Houdini came from the master illusionist's portrayal by Tony Curtis, in 1953's Houdini. Curtis and Janet Leigh, as his wife Bess, explore the realm of Houdini's physical ability to escape from locked confinement. A safe, no problem. A Scotland Yard jail cell, ditto. Straightjacket, got it. His water-related feats of derring-do turned out to be a bit more difficult. 

Picking a lock is rather low on my list of mythical superpowers. I'd much rather have invisibility, incredible strength, or the nose to determine a wine's origin simply by sniffing it. Of course, if I could do the latter, I'd probably end up having to wait tables, and I'm not that much of a people person. 

As long as we’re serving a bottle of wine for Houdini, we should grab a good one before it disappears. Houdini Wines of Napa Valley certainly has the name right. Why name your wine company after Houdini with no visible reason for doing so? Get 'em before they're gone? Maybe. I'm not going to over think it. Houdini wines are sold in duos, trios, or gift baskets, so a per-bottle price is hard to pin down. That business model is not usually indicative of great wine, either, but if you want Houdini wine, you go where it is.

The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao is a Western comedy from 1964. Tony Randall stars in seven roles, the main one being Dr. Lao, proprietor of an incredible circus which has come to the small desert town of Abalone, AZ. It's a place that needs a little magic, and the good doctor brings enough to fill a tent. 

Randall makes the magic as Lao, Merlin the magician, Pan, Medusa, a fortune teller, a monster serpent, and the Abominable Snowman. Seven roles in one film was pretty impressive until last year's Dr. Sander's Sleep Cure had Mart Sander playing 48 roles. Showoff. 

The conflict in Dr. Lao comes when a rich rancher wants to buy the whole town cheaply before the railroad comes through. He and his merry band of baddies never counted on confronting the likes of Lao. 

I love that nearly all the characters are given descriptions as part of their names. The Crusading Publisher, The Ruthless Tycoon, The Widowed Librarian, and the Stuffy Matron are only a few. Me, I'm The Overbearing Wine Guy.

The German winery, Dr. Loosen, makes a wine called Dr. Lo. However, it is non-alcoholic. So, nah. Try one of their great Rieslings from the steep, slate banks of the Moselle River. A bottle of magic will cost you $20 or less.

Jerry Lewis flies again, in 1958's The Geisha Boy. The title alone makes us expect Lewis to break out his buck-toothed characterization of a Japanese person. Amazingly, he does not. It could be the first time that Lewis exhibited restraint on film.

The story follows a burned-out magician as he goes on a USO tour for GIs stationed in Japan. The giggles come from the standard Lewis brand of slapstick comedy, with the help of a rabbit and a child. That flies in the face of good advice handed out by W.C. Fields, who said "Never work with children or animals." Any child or animal who tries to upstage Jerry has his work cut out for him. 

Director Frank Tashlin worked on many Warner Brothers cartoons, both Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies. That connection resulted in Lewis doing the "That’s all, folks" bit for the film's finale, in his particular way.

Ver Sacrum makes a really nice wine called Geisha de Jade. The thing is, it's from Argentina. That's a head-scratcher. However, if you can find a blend of single vineyard Roussanne and Marsanne for $40, it's worth a shot. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Jonathan Kaplan Week

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. Please join us in lifting a glass to remember director and TFH guru Jonathan Kaplan.  

In 1977, Kaplan directed Mr. Billion. Noted for bringing Terence Hill to American movie-goers for the first time, it was also the last screen appearance of William Redfield. Hill was a huge star in Europe at the time and this was his stateside intro. 

Billion also features Valerie Perrine, Jackie Gleason, Slim Pickens, and Chill Wills. How did Slim Pickens and Chill Wills end up in the same movie? Didn't SAG have some kind of rule against such an occurrence? Character Actor Overload? I guess not, because this was the second time for that Character Actor Lightning to strike. Trivia buffs know that the first was in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid.

The story smacks a bit of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Guy inherits a ton of money but has to meet a deadline in order to claim it. Gleason and Perrine stand in his way. Let the comedic action begin. 

Mr. Billion flopped like Gleason doing the cannonball. Kaplan considered it his career low point. Can we enjoy it today, despite all the negativity? Sure we can. Along with some bubbly.

A Champagne from the François Billion winery almost seems like low-hanging fruit for this pairing. Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Meunier grapes are the fruit in question for Le Mesnil-sur-Oger Brut. You may have to pay $200 for it, but at least you don't have to beat the clock.

In 1951's The Prowler, a sleazebag cop has to find a peeping Tom who is harassing a beautiful woman. Van Heflin is our policeman with a broken moral compass. The needle points to where the trouble is. I'm reminded of Double Indemnity while watching his infatuation with the victim turn into a murder plot.

By the way, if you're wondering what connection Kaplan has to The Prowler, Heflin was his uncle. I sure hope that when Uncle Van came to visit young Jonathan, he was more like 3:10 to Yuma Heflin than The Prowler Heflin. The latter would be one creepy uncle. 

A dirty cop might dress himself in dirty laundry, both literally and metaphorically. That sets up my reach for this wine pairing. Dirty Laundry Winery of British Columbia makes a red blend called Dangerous Liaison, which goes for $25 in the Great White North. Your tariff mileage may be higher.

Kaplan's The Slams, from 1973, features former NFL star Jim Brown in what might be seen as a "Shaft goes to prison" tale. Brown's character is in the hoosegow for pulling a million-dollar job. Some of his fellow inmates want him to give up the location of the cash, and they want it badly. At the same time, he needs to get over the wall in a hurry because the place where he hid the loot is about to be demolished.

It's not a stretch to figure that there's a lot of sweating, a lot of fighting and a lot of pruno drinking in this film. Actually, I don't think there's even a mention of pruno, but I always think of it while watching prison movies. Just think it, don't drink it.

Okay, prepare for more low-handing fruit. Let's pair The Slams with the wine known as The Prisoner. I don't know how high the security is in Napa Valley's stony lonesome, but it is said to be relatively easy to smuggle a bottle or two of The Prisoner out of your local wine shop. Less than $50 bucks is all it takes to grease the warden's palm.

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Blood Of The Vines - Shipboard Follies

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, our wines are paired with films that are set on the high seas.

 A Countess from Hong Kong is a romantic comedy from 1967, back before they referred to the genre as romcom. It was written, directed, and scored by Charlie Chaplin. I don't know how many directors have written the music for their movies, but I imagine it has to be a rarity.

Countess starred Marlon Brando and Sophia Loren. Brando's character must have been pleased, in some way, to find Loren stowing away in his stateroom. Tippi Hedren, as his wife, was less enthused. Chaplin's son Sydney is also in the film, along with Margaret Rutherford. She plays someone named Gaulswallow, which sounds a lot like typecasting. But, she was great at that type. 

Chaplin worked on the script on and off for three decades before finishing it as a Loren vehicle. He originally intended for his wife Paulette Goddard to star, but scrapped that plan when they split. "Never give a good role to your ex" may have become a Hollywood axiom if it hadn’t been for Woody Allen.

The tune "This is My Song" was a hit for Petula Clark and probably made more money than the film did at the time. Critical opinions on the movie have softened over the years after an initial bunch of less-than-lukewarm reviews. Maybe the critics simply didn't like Chaplin's politics. It's a good thing one's polítical stance doesn't hurt one's career today, isn't it?

The 8th Estate Winery bills itself as Hong Kong's only urban winery. They source grapes from Australia, Italy, and Washington state, and ship them to Hong Kong after flash-freezing them. This, I suppose, allows their label to say "product of Hong Kong." It's an expensive way to make wine, and it shows on the winery's website. Awhile back, they announced their Christmas sale: "$1200 for 6 HK wines!!" Pardon my gasp. If you find yourself in Hong Kong and want to do a tasting there, it's $80 for a flight of four. That's even pricier than Napa Valley. An Asian social/food site claims the wait time for a table at the winery is one minute. No doubt. Who can afford to stay longer? 

1957's An Affair to Remember stars tuxedoed Cary Grant and evening gowned Deborah Kerr. Their affair begins on a transatlantic cruise. The film is considered one of the most romantic ever made, with the possible exception of those whose spouses have fallen in love with other people. They'll probably call it salt in the wound. It's also a pretty good Christmas movie, as if that helps those jilted movie goers. 

The two leads part ways after docking, but encounter each other again long after the seafaring tryst, with a twist. 

Good memories last a lifetime, or so we hope. A good memory plays a part in the movie's climax, so why not pair a wine from South Slope Wines' Memory line with Affair. They offer a variety of Sierra Foothills grapes, like Cabernet Franc, Sangiovese, and Touriga Nacional, starting at about $50.  

Triangle of Sadness was heralded as one of 2022's best movies. The story follows a group of rich people on a luxury cruise. As they, no doubt, eagerly await their big tax cuts, a storm hits and shipwrecks the passengers on a remote island. There are some genuinely funny moments as well as some genuinely surprising ones. 

The castaways' struggle to survive takes a page or two from Lord of the Flies as wealth and beauty become their legal tender. It's too bad they couldn't find refuge at a fabulous resort, huh? Is it too late to say, "spoiler alert?" Aah, you’ve probably already seen it, haven't you?

Wines that were recovered from a sunken ship would be the perfect pairing, although they are hard to find and tend to be on the pricey side. Aaron Wines has a San Luis Obispo Pinot Noir called Seafarer for $40. It didn't travel on the ocean, but the vineyards are just six miles from the California coastline. Use your imagination.

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Blood Of The Vines - Hypnotic Heists

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we steal some wine pairings for three movies where the stakes were much higher than a bottle of vino.

Scratch any cinephile, and you'll see traces of the 1955 French crime thriller, Rififi. A jewelry store heist is the star of the film. The one-sheet shows Jean Servais doing his best Bogie impression, dressed in a trench coat, gloves, and a fedora at a mean slant. The caper outlined in the film has reportedly been copied by actual criminals through the years. To paraphrase Pablo Picasso, steal from the best. Or maybe that was Igor Stravinsky. Or T.S. Eliot. Whoever it was, thanks for the inspiration.

Jules Dassin got the Best Director award at Cannes for his work on Rififi. Did he make a splash under the Palme d'Or? Word has it, he stole the show. Not bad for a guy who was blacklisted in the bad ol' HUAC days, huh? I guess Republicans were scared of talent back then. Oh, they still are today.

Let's pop the cork on a Champagne for the big French winner. Nicolas Feuillatte's Palmes d'Or Brut will run a man a couple of Benjamins, unless you know a guy. Plus, the neat studded bottle reminds me of the Hellraiser guy. 

Michael Mann's big screen debut was Thief, from 1981. Mann wrote and directed it. This heist film is about a safecracker, so don't munch on your popcorn while he's trying to hear the clicks. The safecracker gets swindled by his fence. Man, you can't trust anybody in a crime film.

The movie stars James Caan, Tuesday Weld, Jim Belushi, Dennis Farina, and Willie Nelson. Huh? Yes, that's what it says here. Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be safecrackers. They say clothes make the man. In this case, a bullet proof vest was a pretty good idea.

Cooper and Thief Winery is located a bit off the wine trail, in Ripon, California. That's in the lovely Central Valley, between Modesto and Stockton, if you'd like to set your GPS. I like to think the winery was named after a barrel maker and a guy who steals barrels, but I doubt that's the case. At any rate, their wines are all aged in bourbon and brandy barrels for that little extra oomph we look for in Ripon grapes. 

The Asphalt Jungle is a 1950 crime noir, one that kept alive the golden age of the genre. John Huston directed, so, okay. That's good. Also contributing some dark goodness are Sterling Hayden, Louis Calhern, Jean Hagen, James Whitmore, Sam Jaffe, John McIntire, and Marilyn Monroe, in one of her earliest roles. They're so good, maybe they'll all get to share a prison cell. Well, except for Monroe and Hagen. Maybe they'll get cast in a Women Behind Bars flick. 

Hayden plays an ex con who masterminds the whole gig, and he seems born to play that kind of role. That, and Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper, of course. But that's a story for another trio of films. 

The story follows a jewel heist gone wrong. Is there another way for a jewel heist to go? Can't have noir without something going wrong. Spoiler alert: not everyone makes it to the comfy confines of the Hotel Graybar. 

There was a heist of sorts at San Diego County's Hatfield Creek Vineyards in Ramona. The crooks made off with only about $15,000 worth of goods, and no safecracker was needed. The winery's website seems more geared toward nibbles and the cornhole game that's likely to be going on when you visit. But, as one satisfied customer commented: if you're on the way to Julian, you might as well stop in and have a glass of wine. If you really want to make it rain, try the Rainmaker Rosé.

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Blood Of The Vines - Burning Bridges

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we have wine pairings for three films starring an actor who is aging like a fine wine himself.

 My favorite Jeff Bridges movie is The Big Lebowski, but that's just, like, my opinion, man. In 2009's Crazy Heart, Bridges does a fine job as a burned out, broken down country singer, the archetypical hardcore troubadour. From commanding big arenas to playing bowling alleys, it's been a sharp decline for Bad Blake. Throw in a lovely reporter who comes around to do a where-is-he-now article on him, and the humiliation is complete.

The film was a big success, getting praise from critics, dollars from paying customers, and a Best Actor Oscar for Bridges. The Academy also awarded a statue to the song, "The Weary Kind," written by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett. I mean, how often will I get to mention T Bone Burnett in this column?

About 15 years ago, Jeff teamed up with Ledson Winery in Sonoma County to produce a Meritage blend of Cabernets Franc and Sauvignon. It benefitted the Harmony Foundation for Children at $125 a bottle. It's not clear if any is still available, but if so, it's a good cause. Explore the website for other ways to contribute.

Winter Kills is probably not as convincing as JFK, but is likely a lot funnier. The 1979 black comedy spins a yarn based on the John F. Kennedy assassination. Bridges stars as the half-brother of a fictional president who was assassinated 19 years earlier. 

Want an all-star cast to go along with Jeff? How about John Huston, Anthony Perkins, Eli Wallach, Richard Boone, Toshirō Mifune, Sterling Hayden and Elizabeth Taylor. Despite the roster, the team didn't make the playoffs. Winter Kills tripped over its own complexity and earned only a fraction of its budget at the B.O.

While Kennedy was in the White House, he reportedly had Champagne flowing like the Seine. Pick up a bottle of your favorite Veuve Clicquot and drink like it's Camelot all over again. It starts at $40, but does not come with a conspiracy theory.

Fat City, from 1972, has Stacy Keach playing a has-been boxer who is trying to punch his way past his demons. This boxer is so down on his luck that he works in the fields with migrant workers to make money. We could use him out there today. A guy with fighting skills could match up nicely with all the ICE agents getting in the way of the picking.

The elder pugilist sees something in Bridges' young fighter, and begins training him. Maybe director John Huston saw himself in the young boxer. As a teen, Huston was quite the amateur lightweight himself. He quit the sweet science after getting his nose broken, possibly figuring that a movie career would be easier on his face. He went on, of course, to be a heavyweight in films.

This was supposed to be a vehicle for Beau Bridges, but he felt he couldn't convincingly play an 18-year-old. He felt that his kid brother could, and Huston agreed. Jeff was fresh off his breakout performance in The Last Picture Show, and Fat City sent him further on a successful acting career. It was quite an upswing from playing bit parts in his dad's TV show, Sea Hunt.

I'll resist the urge to pair a boxed wine with a boxing movie, although I'm told wine in a box can be pretty good. I don't have room in the fridge for a box of wine, so let's look at a fighting wine from Australia. Mollydooker is Australian slang for a left-handed boxer, and Mollydooker's The Boxer Shiraz packs a punch for about $30. I am leaving, I am leaving, but the fighter still remains, lie la lie.

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Blood Of The Vines - Bogie And Bacall

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, our wine pairings are paired with one of Hollywood’s finest pairings, Bogie and Bacall.

To Have and Have Not is based on Ernest Hemingway's book of the same title, although the country was changed to protect the innocent. Wartime Martinique, not Cuba, was the backdrop for this initial pairing of Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. The paying public ate it up. It was a top ten grosser in 1944. Critics called it Casablanca II, but nobody ever says "We'll always have Vichy."

Bogie's character tries to stay out of politics, but he was living in a time when good people had to stand for something, lest they fall for anything. It's amazing how history repeats itself.

He turns his fishing boat into an escape pod for members of the French Resistance. That's an act of heroism akin to hiding Anne Frank in the attic, or walking away from Ingrid Bergman to form a beautiful friendship with a French cop. 

Located just outside Vichy is the Saint Pourçain region. Domaine des Berioles makes white wines from the rare Tressallier grape and chillable reds from Gamay. They run a Vichy drinker anywhere from $20 to $50. For the stateside drinker, there are several wineries in the Vichy Wine and Arts District of Napa. They could leave you thinking, "We'll always have Vacaville."

The Big Sleep has Bogie and Bacall in their 1946 noir splendor. Everyone in this movie is running from someone else, except of course hard-boiled private eye Philip Marlowe. He's probably the man you see when you look over your shoulder. 

Bogart makes murder and intrigue look about as hard as leaning against a wall and flipping a coin. Bacall sings "And Her Tears Flowed Like Wine" with just the right amount of hair-flip-I-don't-care. 

Try The Big Sleep Cocktail: cognac, champagne, sugar and a squeeze of lemon. I hear it's pretty good. But we need something a bit darker, don't we? Talbott's Sleepy Hollow Vineyard Pinot Noir brings the magic of the Santa Lucia Highlands to us for a bit less than $40 a bottle. That AVA name, Santa Lucia Highlands, always makes me want to hear "The Happy Wanderer" on bagpipes, even though I know it's in Monterey County.

Key Largo is a film noir from that genre's golden age, 1948. It's also the fourth and final film pairing of Bogie and Bacall. Bogie is a war hero who visits his dead buddy's family. It sounds like a dreadful time, what with the hurricane and all, but Lauren Bacall plays one of the family members. Things are looking up.

Edward G. Robinson is cast as a holed-up mobster who claims to be on a fishing trip. That story doesn't hold water for anybody.  It brings to mind the old joke that wraps up with, "You didn’t come here to fish, didja?"

Just the words Key Largo summon images of the film's tense standoff between Bogart and Robinson. Unfortunately, it also dredges up memories of the pop song that was far too popular for a solid stretch of 1981. Where were A Flock of Seagulls when we really needed them?

It may be hard to imagine a winery in the Florida Keys, but Key's Meads, on Key Largo, has mead for the adventurous. Mead is wine made with honey, and it's pretty tasty. Of course, it may be easier to get your hands on a Largo Ridge wine, from up around Ukiah, CA.

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Blood Of The Vines - Remembering Lalo Schifrin

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we pay tribute to one of Hollywood's most memorable music men, Lalo Schifrin.

1967's Cool Hand Luke features an Oscar-nominated original score by Schifrin. He channeled Aaron Copeland for this masterpiece of movie music. One section of it lived on beyond the film, as the newscast theme for some ABC local stations. When royalties increased, copycats started issuing themes that "sounded like" Schifrin's work, while sidestepping the copyright.

At the beginning of Cool Hand Luke, Paul Newman's character is drunk and pruning the head off a parking meter. As a result of his ill-advised adventure, Luke gets to join a group of men working in the fields. They don't get paid even a low wage. They live behind bars, work in chains and are watched over by a prison guard with mirror sunglasses and a shotgun. He's usually a bigger thug than the inmates. Think ICE agent.

I'm thinking it's jailbreak time. Make a run for the nearest wine tasting event and hang out near the media.  In your dirty, sweaty, tattered prison rags, you'll blend right in. While tasting, remember to sip, swirl and spit. Otherwise, what we have here is failure to expectorate.

The Prisoner is predominantly Zinfandel, with a chain gang of other grapes mixed in. This Dave Phinney favorite is one to take with you if you're going away for a long time.

Bullitt, from 1968, was a showcase for Steve McQueen and the Ford Mustang. When the talk turns to great chase scenes, the crazy pursuit through the streets of San Francisco usually dominates the conversation. Just how many hubcaps did that Mustang have?

Schifrin's jazzy score was re-recorded for the soundtrack album when the producers wanted to give it a "poppier" sound. Hmmf. A soundtrack album with the actual movie music didn't appear until 2009. That may seem like a tiny tidbit to you, but jazz aficionados can tell you what kind of sandwiches were ordered for the session from the deli down the street. 

Bulleit bourbon would be a great choice for Bullitt, if we were doing a bourbon and movies column. But we're not. Bullitt's Winery in Kentucky has reportedly closed, which is okay with me. I'm not inclined to do business with Kentucky at the moment. I will, however, do business with Escondido, where Cheval Winery lives. Their Bullet Cabernet Franc/Syrah/Merlot blend sells for $77. Don't drink and drive. Especially if you drive like Steve McQueen. 

The 1971 classic Dirty Harry was set in San Francisco. Schifrin's jazzy theme breathed life into the city that is forever linked with film noir, hard-boiled detectives and elusive murderers.

The tense music highlights our hard-boiled detective as he hunts down a psycho killer. Did people like Dirty Harry? You bet they did. It made their day. And it spawned four sequels, the mark of a Hollywood success. Schifrin also scored several of the ensuing entries in the Harry Callahan oeuvre.

The Pearl and Stone Wine Company makes a Snoqualmie Valley Syrah/Mourvèdre blend that's deep and dark, just like Dirty Harry. In fact, it's called Dirty Harry's. $45. Now, Washington state is a long way from Southern California. And you've gotta be asking yourself, "Will FedEx be able to deliver?" Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

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Blood Of The Vines - Before He Was POTUS

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, a look at the work of Ronald Reagan, from before he lived on Pennsylvania Avenue.

The Girl from Jones Beach is a 1949 comedy starring Reagan, alongside Virginia Mayo and Eddie Bracken. Written by I.A.L. Diamond, before he teamed up with Billy Wilder, it's about the search to discover the identity of a certain swimsuit model. Yes, high-minded stuff. 

Critics of the day thought the script was weakish, but they liked Virginia Mayo in a bathing suit. They really liked that. A lot. That's pretty much all they could talk about. Reagan is in the movie, but the critics apparently weren't moved to applaud his acting. Maybe he should have tried a swimsuit.

The movie runs well shy of an hour and a half, but the story still seems stretched as thin as Boardwalk taffy. 

Have a Long Island wine with The Girl from Jones Beach. Del Vino Vineyards is in Northport. They offer a rosé which blends Syrah, Merlot, and Cabernet Franc. That's a blend I don't think I've ever heard of in a pink wine. Sounds interesting for $20. 

The 1964 version of Hemingway's short story, The Killers was done first in 1946. It was done again in the '50s, a Russian production, which is probably on permanent loan to Putin these days. 

The noirish film has Reagan appearing with an incredible array of acting talent: like Lee Marvin, John Cassavetes, Angie Dickinson, Clu Gulager, Claude Akins, and Norman Fell. It was Reagan's final acting job before entering politics, that is, if you don't count politics as acting.

There's a lot of killing going on here. Most of it is pretty senseless. Hell, all of it is senseless. Why all the killing? For money, of course. And love. Nah, it's all about the money. The movie was supposed to have been one of the early made-for-TV movies, but NBC thought America would go nuts with all the violence, so they scrapped their plans to air it. Too bad. America went nuts anyway and started slurping up the violence with a big soup spoon. The movie was just a bit ahead of its time.

Let Hemingway guide us to a wine for one of his short stories. He liked the wines of Valpolicella greatly. He even wrote about them. One of his characters says Valpolicella has a "softness that soothes and a warmth that grows." You don't have to twist my arm to have an Amarone. It's a bit of a splurge, maybe $50 for a good one.

Dark Victory, the 1939 weeper, stars Bette Davis, George Brent, Humphrey Bogart, and Geraldine Fitzgerald. Reagan's smallish part is almost lost in the melodrama.

A wealthy heiress has a good news/bad news visit with a doctor. The bad news: she has a brain tumor. The good news: they can operate. More bad news: it didn't work. More good news: she's in love with her doc. More bad news: she'll die soon, but go blind first. Since she was able to keep getting out of bed every morning, we assume she must have had terrific health insurance.

After all that illness and dashing of high hopes, we could use a glass of wine. Melodramatic Wines has a Cabernet Sauvignon/Petite Sirah blend called Melodramatic Darkness. You had me at "melodramatic." $12 at your supermarkets and finer gas stations. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Wolfing It Down

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we have three films vying to keep the wolf from the door, and on the screen where he belongs. Lap up a wine pairing for each movie. 

An American Werewolf in London bared its fangs in 1981, written and directed by TFH guru John Landis. 

Two backpackers decide to see how much trouble a couple of young Americans can get into on the English moors. A lot, it turns out. Griffin Dunne and David Naughton bring laughs to the horror as the latter is bitten by a werewolf and suffers some howling side effects. Naughton's character is left wishing he could have stayed a Pepper. 

How does one kill a werewolf? Well, first, you gotta find one. But once you do, it's probably too late for you to be the one doing the killing. There's the rub.

Landis kept the script in his top drawer for more than a decade when possible backers felt it was too funny for horror and too horrific for comedy. It turned out to be a huge hit, prompting the musical question, "What do producers know, anyway?"

Werewolf wines are from Transylvania, and they sport the scariest "critter labels" I’ve ever seen.  They even glow in the dark.  The line features Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon and Pinot Noir, all of which pair well with werewolf. So I'm told. 

1943's Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man has Bela Lugosi donning the monster clothes, while Lon Chaney unleashes the Wolf Man. A couple of grave robbers unearth the Wolf Man, who then chips Frankenstein's monster out of a block of ice. Wolfie gets a date and goes to the Festival of the New Wine. How lucky! The monster decides to get some of that new wine, too. Cue the villagers. They are not having it.  

Pick any wine from the Alsatian Grand Cru Frankstein Vineyard.  I know, not actually Frankenstein, but it's close.  Oh, wait...

South Africa's Radford Dale Winery has a Pinotage called Frankenstein. The name was given due to the bad reputation the Pinotage grape has for being harsh and medicinal. They say if the grape is treated meanly it will show its angry side. Pinotage, they say, "is not a monster; it is a soul with a heart and one which will repay kindness with abundant generosity of its own."  Keep your pitchforks in the barn.

The 2001 French horror film, Brotherhood of the Wolf, actually features a beast which is later found to be a lion. Maybe I should have employed a spoiler alert there. Oops. That lion didn't stop the Brotherhood from giving naming rights to the canis lupus. 

The French have trouble solving a string of murders, so they call in a band of Iroquois Native Americans to help in the fight. WTF, right? Stay with me. Their paths had apparently crossed during the American Revolution. Now it all makes sense.

This movie is set in 18th century France, and is noted for its action scenes, mixing swashbucklers with martial artists. Think Bruce Lee with a sword. I'd buy a ticket to that, and even stand in line at the New Bev to see it.

The Beast is a Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon from Del Dotto Vineyards. It runs close $300 a bottle, and you have to be a VIP member for the privilege of purchase. So it's true, “membership has its privileges.”

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Blood Of The Vines - Night Frights

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, our trio of films are not for those who are afraid of the dark. If you are, don't be scared of our wine pairing for each.

In 1972's The Night Stalker, Darren McGavin plays a newspaperman who has been around the block a few times. Kids, newspapers were actual paper publications which contained the news of the day, or night, as in this case. McGavin's Carl Kolchak was the star of this Movie of the Week, and later of the TV series Kolchak, The Night Stalker.

Our scribe finds himself on the police beat in Las Vegas, where showgirls are turning up dead, their blood drained from their bodies. Could it be a Vegas vampire? Most of the ones I've met worked the blackjack tables, where they sucked the bills from my wallet. Not that I'm a sore loser.

This case was handed to Kolchak by Metro, who wanted no part of the horrors they anticipated. If you want to find vampires, as the song says, the nighttime is the right time.

The Stalker Pinot Noir comes from Oregon's ROCO Winery. The name actually derives from the winemaker's time in Australia, where the grapevines are called stalks. You can stalk this Willamette Valley Pinot for $45, if you think you can stomach a big, bold Pinot Noir that isn't from California. If you have a problem with it, just call Kolchak.

Night Gallery was the 1969 pilot for the television program, hosted and partly written by Rod Serling. By the time Night Gallery appeared, times had changed enough that he no longer stared into the camera with a cigarette between his fingers.

The pilot - and the ensuing episodes - consisted of three segments, each of which was represented by an oil painting in the gallery. Serling delivered his introductions while standing before the paintings, like a macabre docent. One of the segments in this hour-and-a-half pilot film was the directorial debut of one Steven Spielberg. He went on to gain a bit of fame on his own.

While Serling's intros were delivered in much the same style as his oft-imitated Twilight Zone cadence, they seemed a bit threadbare in comparison. The tone of the show also had changed, from TZ's sci-fi slant to a more supernatural approach.

Let's find some really artsy wine labels for Night Gallery. Château Mouton Rothschild has commissioned genuine, real live, authentic painters to adorn some of their labels since 1945. Big names like Picasso, Dali and Hockney have splashed a little paint for the Rothschilds over the years. Unfortunately, you won't be able to pick up a bottle at Gil Turner's on the way home. They are sold at auction each year, for anywhere from four to 20 thousand dollars a case. I understand if you take a pass on this pairing suggestion. I know you have to budget for wine tariffs.

Nothing But the Night, from 1973, stars Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Here's where I pause to say "All hail the great Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing!" That will keep my wife happy for another week. She's a big fan. 

This film flopped in its initial release, and the years have not been kind to it. It's set on a tiny Scottish island, which is about the best thing reviewers had to say about it. Cushing got some kudos for his performance, but everybody else in the cast was labeled a stiff. Even the fair amount of children in the movie got thrown under the bus as lifeless mannequins. 

To clarify, the kids didn't actually get thrown under a bus, but the bus driver surely won't ever hit that turn signal again. The kids go to a school for orphans, and the institution's trustees start dropping one by one. The movie tries to milk some real concern out of viewers, but the process of getting to the bottom of the mess of murders is where we may let our thoughts wander to what we have in the fridge that would be good to eat right now. Or what we may have in the wine rack that needs opening. 

Cushing reportedly suffered from nyctophobia when he was young. That's a fear of the dark. Go figure, huh? He cured himself by taking long walks, late at night. Ooh, scary. Napa Valley's Night Wines has a Spring Mountain Cabernet Sauvignon with just a kiss of Merlot. Dracula fans will note that the midnight-y wine takes a bite out of your wallet, to the tune of $150. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Dead In The Water

Pairing wine with movies!  See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies and many more at Trailers From Hell. This week, we have three films about death in the murky depths. In the event of a water landing, the wine pairings may be used as life preservers.

Dead Calm is an Australian film from 1989. Great performances from Nicole Kidman, Sam Neill, and Billy Zane keep the movie afloat, along with some great oceanographic cinematography. Kidman and Neill play a couple who are out cruising the world on their yacht to try and forget their troubles. Natch. Isn't that what everybody does?

Trouble paddles to their vessel in the form of a guy who says he abandoned a sinking ship where all the others died of food poisoning. A likely story. Hubby rows off to find the soon-to-be shipwreck and discovers that the other passengers didn't die from something they ate. Wifey and the stranger are alone on the yacht, staying busy trying to kill each other. What a vacation. 

The wine pairing for Dead Calm has to be Australian, and I've got the perfect bottle. I consulted AI for some help, and AI says that Penfolds Grange Shiraz "is a favorite choice for premium yacht experiences." Well, at $800 a bottle, it had better be considerably more premium than the yacht experience in Dead Calm. 

Don't put your credit card away just yet. We have another top shelf wine for the 1978 Jaws parody, Piranha. The Roger Corman production, directed by TFH chief guru Joe Dante, requires a wine that will take a bite out of the ol' paycheck.

While Jaws had only one fish - okay, it was a pretty big fish - Piranha has a whole school of the fanged demons chewing up the scenery, and anything else into which they can sink their teeth.  A Piranha attack is something which has fascinated me all my life, and apparently Dante was similarly taken with the idea of a bunch of fish picking a carcass clean.

You have to love the script's plan to kill the piranhas by opening up the waste tank at a smelting plant and preventing them from making it into the open water of the ocean.  It may be the only time in movie history that industrial waste was penned as the good guy.  Did the plan go awry and allow the killers to spawn a sequel?  Does a fish have teeth?

For those of us who like really good wine, and don't care how much we pay for it, try Sine Qua Non's Piranha Waterdance Syrah. I'm not on their mailing list, but I hear this wine sells in some places for a little under $300. Don't ask me how, but it sells in other places for $1,800. I would love to join their wine club, but my wife would throw me into a pool of piranhas if I did.

1955's It Came from Beneath the Sea features a giant octopus that was made radioactive by nuclear testing in the Pacific. Stop-motion genius Ray Harryhausen did the special effects. This big mollusc makes the best of his atomic-age misfortune, pulling ships underwater, eating unwary beachgoers, and attacking the Golden Gate Bridge. 

Those who fight giant radioactive creatures decide that an electrified fence in the ocean is the answer. What happens when you electrocute a giant octopus? That's right, you just make him mad. It's the Godzilla Syndrome. 

You don’t need me to tell you that everything works out well, for the humans. The threat is neutralized, the bridge is saved, and all the Italian restaurants in North Beach have a special on polpo that night. 

So, have a nice Vermentino. Stellato makes a great single-vineyard Vermentino from Sardegna. It has the smell of the ocean, the hallmark of a good Vermentino. And it sells for about $30. That's a screaming deal, coming after the first two wines in this article.

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