Hockey fans, Paul Newman fans, Strother Martin fans and people who just happen to like swearing a lot should all have "Slap Shot" in their collections.
The Charlestown Chiefs minor league hockey franchise is in trouble, and coach Paul Newman gets the idea that violence will attract crowds and save the financial day. Even in 1977 this notion made many people think, "What, like hockey's not already violent?"
Newman and his band of hockey pucks - no, that's not a typo - take on-ice violence to the extreme. The also take cursing to new heights. The movie's profanity - TFH guru Josh Olson calls it "awe-inspiring" - was landmark in the '70s, and probably still sits near the top of any list ranking movies for the use of four-letter words. I read somewhere that the TV edit would have so much dialogue cut out that the running time would be shaved to about 17 minutes. I like to pepper my own conversation with colorful language, but my efforts pale in comparison to "Slap Shot."
Merely slipping in a "#@$%!" now and then will not get you anywhere close to the kind of blue language used in "Slap Shot." You need to dress it up a little. As Emeril Lagasse would say, Kick it up a notch." Or as Gordon Ramsay might say, "Kick it up a #@$%! notch, donkey!" Abso - #@$%! - lutely.
It didn't take too long for me to find an appropriate #@$%! wine to pair with a #@$%! movie about #@$%! hockey. Diamond Estates gives us the 20 Bees Hat Trick Red and Hat Trick White, both of which sell for about $13 and both are said to pair well with hockey food. The red goes with meat, the white with Chinese take-out and nachos. Mmmm. There ya go - dinner and a movie. That's enter - #@$%! - tainment.
Now, go buy some and drink it while watching "Slap Shot" or the #@$%! Hansen Brothers will come over and hit you in the #@$%! head with a bottle.
More #@$%! hockey wine:
The NHL Alumni Signature Wine Series, produced by Ironstone Vineyards, would be a perfect pairing with "Slap Shot." "Would be" because they are no longer offered for sale. I hope you hockey fans got yours while they were around.
Newman's Own Wine - Chardonnay, Cab, Merlot and Pinot Noir, all of which benefit Newman's Own Foundation.
Gordon Ramsay's Selection - Here's a guy who knows a bit about swearing, if not hockey. Bordeaux producer Chateau Bauduc puts Ramsays name on these offerings, a white and a #@$%! rosé.