Friday, March 8, 2024

Blood Of The Vines - Spoofery

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌  ‌‌‌See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ ‌ This week is all about the laffs, as we come up with wines to pair with a trio of films that take a comedic look at other genres. No fooling.

The 1999 sci-fi comedy Galaxy Quest pokes fun at TV's Star Trek and the fan base that grew up around it. The cast of the titular fictitious series apparently did such a good job of acting their parts that real aliens took it as a documentary. Is it comforting to know that if aliens attack Earth, TV stars would save us? Maybe if it were Ted Danson. Actual Star Trek actors and their massive fan base gave Galaxy Quest their seal of approval. 

I can't resist pairing this wine with an Official Star Trek Wine. Yes, there is such a thing. I'll pass on the Chateau Picard and go for the Klingon Bloodline Cabernet Sauvignon. It is produced in the fine tradition of the great Klingon vintners. Wait a minute, it's 50 bucks? Nuh uh. I don’t care if the cork does have a Klingon saying on it. It probably translates to, "Sucker!"

Mel Brooks cast a hush over the film industry in 1976 with Silent Movie, a slapstick comedy about a movie producer trying to get a silent film made in the 1970s. Wait, what? Wasn't that what he was actually doing? 

In true Brooksian fashion, fun was poked at all the big names of the silent era, with title cards to describe the action. His regular gang served as the mainstays, while a host of big-name actors appeared in the film that was being made. There is only one spoken word in the movie, and it is delivered by Marcel Marceau. Classic Brooks.

We will have to go with Harumph Wines Napa Cab here, even though the name was taken from another Brooks film, Blazing Saddles. And, even though the wine is apparently only available through allocation. Really. Harumph, indeed. Mel Brooks says it's one of the best California Cabs he has ever tasted. I'll take his word for it.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is a 2001 spoof of 1950s B-movies. In my teenage years I would watch this sort of thing late at night on the weekends. Back then, you had to actually wait for a crappy movie to be shown on TV. 

There is a scientist in this film whose idea of a good date is to take his gal to look for a meteorite. There is an element called Atmosphereum. There is a device called a transmutatron. There are aliens who pose as humans to steal the meteorite containing Atmosphereum. Even as I write this, I feel tired of this movie, and I'm not watching it at the moment. There was a sequel made, believe it or don't, and a third movie was planned. I don't know if their Kickstarter ever got off the ground. 

Listen, I have a soft spot in my heart for the hopelessly bad. I was a regular viewer of Houston Wrestling, for the lovvagawd. But even movie nerds who rate the films on those online sites can't find it within themselves to give Cadavra three stars. 

There is a wine bar in Madrid called Cadavra, but there are no skeletons reported there. A $10 Cabernet Sauvignon called Kadabra is too far a reach, even for me. Let's go with Sovereign Brands, who bring us a GrĂ¼ner Veltliner from Austria that's only $10 for the 1L bottle. That's one skeleton I won't mind having in my closet. 

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