Friday, March 27, 2020

Blood Of The Vines: Frails, Floozies And Dames

It's time to pair wine with movies again, in conjunction with the movie-mad Trailers From Hell

Wife vs. Secretary is a comedy-drama from the 1930s, before they started calling such things "dramedies," and well before people started saying, "they forgot the funny."  I'd say the wife and the secretary are both dames, certainly not frails and probably not floozies.  The salacious trailer asks, tantalizingly, whether Clark Gable would choose wife Myrna Loy or secretary Jean Harlow.  Gable had already done films with Harlow four times and Loy three. "Which one would he choose"... to work with again?  I can safely say that I'VE never had any trouble telling a wife from a secretary.   Of course, I've never had a secretary. 

It's not a case of mistaken identity here, that Gable simply kept his eyes closed and couldn't tell the two apart.  The situation is actually quite a bit tamer than advertised, but when isn't that true? 

This movie can best pair with a wine called The Secretary Bird, from South Africa's Western Cape.  The Merlot is good, unless you've ever heard your secretary - or wife - scream, "I'm not drinking any #$@&%* Merlot!."  In that case, opt for the Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc or rosé.  They're all cheap, but they're no floozies, either. 

Sexless movies?  What do you think, there's a Production Code or something?  That 1934 document put the nix on overt sexuality, like married couples sleeping in the same bed.  While it stifled artsy little semi-nude shots, it did force more emphasis to be placed on double entendres, giving Cary Grant a career.  Baby Face is a pre-Code movie - in fact it is one of the handful of films credited with prompting the Code to be written in the first place.  Starring Barbara Stanwyck - aah, you can stop right there.  A dame's dame, a dude's dame, certainly no frail.  In this film, she's a dame who doesn't mind using what she's got to get what she wants.  In other words, she's a floozie.  With just the turn of a phrase - "Can't we talk this over?"  she floozes her way to the top.  If you're going to flooze, flooze big, I always say.

Wouldn't you know, there's a wine that pairs perfectly with the subject matter.  The Floozie, from Australia's Hugh Hamilton, is a Sangiovese-based rosé.  Sangiovese means you can drink it while watching The Godfather, if you dare to drink a rosé while watching The Godfather.  It's sweet, but not too cheap.

Only women grace the screen in The Women, even though it's "all about men" - so says the one-sheet.  Frails, floozies and dames abound.  There's even a lesbian, maybe, possibly, at least it is hinted at as strongly as the damned Production Code would allow.  Which is not very.

I'm told by a close associate that the one-sheet got it all wrong.  It's not all about men, it's all about the women.  And that's from the greatest dame I know, my wife.  The Women is one of her favorite movies, and if you disparage it she can claw your eyes out with her Jungle Red fingernails.

As long as the sisters are doin' it for themselves, let's get a wine from a state with a girl's name, Georgia.  The Three Sisters Vineyard.  And since we're going all-in on the female thing, how about their Cynthiana wine?  That's also known as the Norton grape, all-American and tasty as hell, killed by Prohibition.  Georgia is not letting it rest in peace.

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