Friday, December 1, 2023

Blood Of The Vines - Hollywood Babylon

Pairing‌ ‌wine‌ ‌with‌ ‌movies!‌  ‌See‌ ‌the‌ ‌trailers‌ ‌and‌ ‌hear‌ ‌the‌ ‌fascinating‌ ‌commentary‌ ‌for‌ ‌these‌ ‌movies‌ ‌and‌ ‌many‌ ‌more‌ ‌at‌ ‌Trailers‌ ‌From‌ ‌Hell.‌ This week, we have a trio of movies that expose the soft underbelly of Tinseltown, our own private Hollywood Babylon. And what Babylon would be complete without a wine to go with it? We suggest pairings for each of these films. 

Blake Edwards earned a place in my heart with his 1981 film, S.O.B. I believe it has brought me as much laughter as Blazing Saddles or Fargo, or One, Two Three, which is saying a lot. The movie pokes deliciously dark fun at the workings of Hollywood. There is the director, who goes nuts while making a movie. There is the studio, which wants to salvage what they see as a flop coming down the road. There is the editor, who can't wait to take his scissors to the film. There is the doctor, who, well, opens the next fifth of vodka. 

Robert Preston is a revelation in S.O.B. My history with doctors is checkered. Dr. Whitepockets never wrote a prescription. He just pulled a sample pack of pills from his labcoat and handed it to me. Dr. Insult never saw an infirmity that didn't make him laugh. His hallmark line: "Yeah, it sucks getting old." Dr. Dental finagled insurance companies like a body shop owner. They were practically paying me when he was through with them. But Preston, as Dr. Irving Finegarten, delivers a career performance and steals nearly all the best lines in the script. 

Oh, right, like some desperate winemaker would dare to slap the letters S, O and B on their wine label. Wait a minute. There happens to be one right here. SOB is a kosher wine from Israeli winemaker Ya'acov Oryah. He blended Carignan, Petite Sirah, Syrah, Pinot Noir, and Grenache grapes into a wine which, he must have felt, could only be described by those three letters. Maybe they mean something else in Israeli. Anyway, it’s a $60 bottle. Standard Operational Business.

The 1950 classic, Sunset Boulevard, shows us how cruel Tinseltown can be. Fading silent star Norma Desmond lived in the fantasy that she was still the greatest movie star of them all. She hired people to tell her that she was still all that and a tub of popcorn. Her world view was summed up with, "No one ever leaves a star. That's what makes one a star." If you leave the wrong star, you could end up face down in the swimming pool. Warren Zevon wrote about Hollywood. "Heaven help the one who leaves."

Norma Desmond would accept nothing less than a good Champagne for her good times. When she’s ready for her close-up, she’ll take a bottle of Moet AND a bottle of Chandon, thank you kindly. The Imperial will do, if you have nothing better. 

From 2019 we have Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. You know it's a fairytale from the title, so there is little surprise that one of the more tragic events of Hollywood history gets rewritten for a happy ending. Not to spoil, but the baddies get theirs in true Tarantino fashion, with one going out in a real blaze of glory. 

I would like to have known TV Bounty Hunter Rick Dalton. He seems like he would have been a great guy to have a beer with, even if the "beer don't need no buddy." His pal, driver and body man Cliff Booth, I'm not so sure about. He seems like a guy on whose good side you want to stay. I don't think I would go spear fishing with him. 

There is a fair amount of drinking in this movie. For the pairing, Rick will have a Whiskey Sour and Cliff will down a Bloody Mary. But a wine pairing for Once Upon is a tough call. The film was set a few years before Napa Valley found its way onto the world wine map, and there was still something called California Burgundy. But maybe Rick picked up a Barolo or Chianti while he was off doing Spaghetti Westerns and brought some home on the spacious jet airliner. 1969 vintages will run upwards of $150. Or, you could just make a blender of frozen margaritas. It's a long movie. 


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