Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Wine Goes To The Movies
With and

Do vampires really stalk the world after dark?  To quote Robert Preston from Blake Edwards' "S.O.B.," "Is Batman a transvestite?  Who knows?"  Don't look for any definitive answers in "The Mark of the Vampire."  After the movie is over, your questions will remain and a few new new ones will appear.  You'll wonder "How'd they ever fall for that?"  You'll marvel, "How do they grow those bats so huge in South America?"  You'll cry aloud, "Who shot Bela Lugosi?"

Thanks to some heavy-handed editing, the wound in Lugosi's head raises more bullet questions than the Zapruder film did.  We don't see how that bullet hole got there or how many gunmen may have been involved.  We don't even know if the man with the umbrella was in the shot.

The plot-within-the-plot revealed at the end shows just how much the actors really sunk their teeth into their roles.  SAGAFTRA would have a fit today over those working conditions.  Working in a play that's being investigated by the authorities - while the performance is happening - would definitely mean "over scale" for everybody.  In the end, it's all in a day's work for these vampires and victims.

Lugosi is one of the video vampires I think of when my mind turns to long canine teeth.  Elvira is another one, but I don’t remember her canine teeth being long.  I don’t remember much about her teeth at all.  I do remember that the vampires I’ve liked best are the ones who have let the show-biz show through.  Elvira certainly has shown a lot of show-biz, and so has Lugosi - in a different way, of course.  Lugosi may have been born for the role of a vampire, but it’s fascinating when he exposes that role for all to see.

Now, off to catering services for a glass of something blood-red before punching out.

Vampire Vineyards has the Blood of the Vine for any occasion.  Vampire Cabernet Sauvignon offers North Coast Cab for the discerning fang, while Trueblood Pinot Noir features Santa Maria Valley grapes for those who prefer their vampires on the small screen.  Good news for SoCal vampire drinkers: The Vampire Vineyards Lounge & Tasting Room is located in Beverly Hills.  And we thought all the bloodsuckers were in the lawyer offices.

Or, suck on this:

Lugosi Wine - Marketed by descendents of Bela himself, this wine celebrates one of the first members of the Screen Actors Guild.  Not to mention one of the scariest.

Elvira Wine - Made with the Elvira grape, but without the Elvira picture.  Nice try.  Call us when you get the rights.

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