Blood Of The Vines - Road Games

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌ See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ This week, we hit the road for some driving energy. Although we don't recommend drinking and driving, we have a wine pairing for each film. For when you get home. 

For one glorious week in 1981, Honky Tonk Freeway played on America's silver screens. Then, people read the reviews. Uh-oh. It's about a small Florida town that gets bypassed by the new freeway. Everyone in town tries to help turn the place into a tourist attraction which will lure people off the highway to spend money. Their misadventures make up the bulk of the script.

The brains behind this bomb was a British man who admitted he didn't know much about America. So he sunk more than $10 million of someone's money into making a comedy about America. Go figure. I wonder where he's summering now. 

Obviously, we're going with Florida wine here, and that's harder than it sounds. There's not that much of it. The Florida Winery has plenty of wines made from all sorts of fruit, but very few made from grapes. They make a Cabernet Sauvignon, from grapes that no doubt come from somewhere else. Florida Man probably loves it. Their website boasts "Free shipping over $100!" If you can drink $100 worth of this wine, you deserve free shipping. Blackcherry Pinot Noir is shortened to "Blache," which may also be the sound you make when choking it down. Believe it or not, they get $20 for it.

The road couldn't be more inhospitable than in the Australian 2015 film Mad Max: Fury Road, the fourth film in the string of Mad Max movies.  To describe the scenario merely as post-apocalyptic makes it seem less than it is, like it's just an unusually hot day.  It's oppressive just to think about the unrelenting bleakness of a life in which water and gasoline are the only concerns.  Thankfully, we get to worry about water, gasoline, and which wine to have with which movie.

Charlize Theron brings a feminist touch to the Mad Max series, as an able replacement for the male kingpins of past episodes.  This movie garnered some critical praise and ten Oscar noms, winning six.

Certainly, an Australian wine is proper here - even though there is a German Riesling which inexplicably bears the name Mad Max.  Penfolds is the choice, their Max's Shiraz sells for just $25.  By the way, it's a nod to winemaker Max Schubert, not the movie series.

Wild Boys of the Road, from 1933, is a teen movie of the most depressing kind. The kind from the Great Depression, in fact. A group of kids wind up in dire straits and jump a train to try and find a better life in hoboville. There's no better life there. It actually gets worse before it gets better, with rape, murder and a disfiguring accident. But hang in there, it does get better, eventually.  

The year this movie was made, the national nightmare of Prohibition was repealed. However, most wineries had been forced to board up the windows if they couldn't swing a deal making sacramental wine. That was the only booze legally being made for those dark 13 years. And a winery in Los Angeles stayed open thanks to the blood of Christ, simulated as it may have been. 

Back in the day, the San Antonio Winery vineyards were right around the winery building - steps from the L.A. River, just a cork's throw from Chavez Ravine. Now, the grapes come from their vineyards in Napa Valley, Monterey County and Paso Robles. The winery is still just southeast of Dodger Stadium. Depression or no depression, the Riboli family not only survived, they thrived. 

You can hardly drive anywhere these days without seeing a billboard advertising their Stella Rosa brand, wine made in Italy and brought to our shores in big ships. San Simeon brings a taste of Paso Robles to the table and Windstream comes from the Santa Lucia Highlands. All the wines carry the thread of Depression Era America through them. Lift a glass to the teenaged hobos of Wild Boys of the Road. And to the Riboli family. 

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A Cabernet Sauvignon Fit For Passover

Today we look at another kosher wine. It's from Château Golan, in the southern Golan Heights in Israel. Their vineyards produce Bordeaux grape varieties as well as Rhône Valley styles and even Portuguese Touriga Nacional. The estate's soil is volcanic and rich in clay.

The 2020 Château Golan Naveh was made from 100% Cabernet Sauvignon grapes. The wine underwent malolactic fermentation under the watchful eye of winemaker Uri Hetz, then sat in oak barrels to age for 12 to 14 months. After bottling, it rested for another year. It is imported by Royal Wine Corporation, good folks to know if you want quality kosher wine. Alcohol sits at a hefty 15% and the retail price is $80.

This wine is very dark, with no light getting through in the glass. The nose is complex, with blackberry, black currant, and anise aromas. There's even an herbal hint, which I take as eucalyptus. The palate is just as dark, with the fruit standing forward and a savory streak behind it. The tannins are quite forceful, while the acidity adds a bright counterpoint to the darkness of the other facets. I don't know if the wine was made for brisket, but that's how I'm pairing it.

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Kosher Chardonnay From Israel

Passover is coming soon, and if you're looking for a good kosher wine to fill one of your four cups, we have one here. The Barkan winery was established in 1990, and head winemaker Olivier Fratty guarantees the wine is kosher.

The 2024 Barkan Vineyards Gold Edition Chardonnay was made from 100% Chardonnay grapes, grown in the Bekoa Vineyard in the Judean foothills. Aging took place in oak barrels over a span of six months. Alcohol sits at 12.5% abv and the retail price is $24. 

This wine has a straw color with light green highlights. The nose is unremarkable, with barely a hint of lemon and flowers coming up from the glass. The palate comes on strong, by comparison. There are notes of Meyer lemon, white nectarine, apricot, and peach., all readily available. The acidity is quite fresh, but there is quite a bit of oak spice. This surprised me, considering the exposure to oak was only six months. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Robert Duvall Week

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌ See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ This week, we salute another great actor who is no longer with us.

In 2009's Crazy Heart, Robert Duvall plays a bartender who helps a country singer named Bad Blake get his life on track. Jeff Bridges does a fine job as the burned out, broken down, hardcore troubadour. Bridges got most of the notice in the film, while Duvall got to play another heartfelt supporting role. He even got to sing.

The film was a big success, getting praise from critics, dollars from paying customers, and a Best Actor Oscar for Bridges. The Academy also awarded a statue to the song, The Weary Kind, written by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett. I mean, how often will I get to mention T Bone Burnett in this column?

Crazy Wines Cabernet Sauvignon is from Chile, and retails for about $60. New York's Channing Daughters Winery makes a dry white blend called Heart for $20. Get one of each for Crazy Heart and enjoy the show that much more. 

1979's Apocalypse Now is generally considered to be Francis Ford Coppola's masterpiece, a film which resides in just about any cinematic "Best Of" list you can find.  Besides giving us a dark and soul-searching vision of the Vietnam War, it also injected several phrases into the popular lexicon.  Who among us hasn't paraphrased Duvall's catch phrase, "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." His shirtless Cavalry cowboy claims napalm smells like victory. Time had a different sense of it.

Duvall's Colonel Kilgore also justified his helicopter assault on an enemy beach just so he could ride the waves. His line, "Charlie don't surf," is tossed away like a live grenade. 

While we can't say that Coppola's Diamond Collection Merlot will smell like victory, it may well take you to your virtual heart of darkness.  As one of my favorite bartenders used to scream every time I walked through the door, "Schlagers!"

Duvall made his bones in cinema history in 1972, with his portrayal of Tom Hagen, the Corleone family's lawyer in The Godfather. His level-headed persona stood in direct contrast to some of the more quick-tempered elements of the crime family. 

The head of Woltz International Pictures didn't realize who he was dealing with when he told Hagen that Johnny Fontaine could take a flying leap. Hagen's response was, "Mr. Corleone never asks a second favor, once he’s refused the first. Understood?" His cool, even tone laid the groundwork for the horse head scene that followed. 

Don Corleone would probably like a nice Nero d'Avola, a hearty red wine that's full-bodied, like the Don. It's also usually not blended, but allowed to stand on its own two feet, like a man. The grape comes from Avola, which is on the other side of Sicily from the Don's birthplace of Corleone. Is there, however, a winemaker in Avola who would deny The Godfather a bottle of his finest? $21.

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A Kosher White Wine For Passover

The Herzog family moved to the United States in 1948, but they had already been producing wine in their native Czechoslovakia for six generations. The Herzogs survived fascism and communism before leaving Europe. They now specialize in kosher wines from a variety of locations in California, one of them being Clarksburg, on the Sacramento River.

The 2024 Herzog Lineage Chenin Blanc is made from grapes grown in Clarksburg. Alcohol hits 13.5% abv and the price is just over $21.

This pale yellow wine has a nose that bursts with citrus minerality and dried apricot. The palate brings a good level of acidity and flavors of Meyer lemon, apple, and orange zest. It's a refreshing wine, one that will pair well with any sort of seafood, especially shellfish. 

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Sicilian White Wine That Outkicks Its Price

Here’s another low-priced wine which I picked up for cooking and got the surprise that it was actually fairly nice to drink. The 2023 Piccolo Fiore Bianco is a southern Italian wine, Terre Siciliane IGT. 

From what I could glean on various internet mentions, it was made from Chardonnay and Catarratto Bianco grapes. It was imported by Vinum International of Napa. Alcohol sits at 12.5% abv and the reasonable price was $9 at Whole Foods Market.

This wine has a muted nose which features hints of citrus, flowers, and salinity. The palate is livelier, with big notes of lemon and minerality, and a decent acidity. It's good if you need a white wine for cooking, but it pairs nicely with seafood, risotto, or pasta primavera. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Bud Cort Week

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌ See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ This week, we look back fondly on three films featuring the late Bud Cort.

1971's Harold and Maude stars Cort and Ruth Gordon in a May/December relationship. He's a young man fascinated by death, and she's old enough to kick the bucket at any time. A match made in heaven. 

Bob Evans at Paramount must have heard "told ya so" a time or two, because the movie attracted neither critics nor paying customers. Both groups eventually came around when the film became a cult classic. H&M reportedly didn't turn a profit until about 12 years after its release, which is probably not something a studio would want to crow about. Gordon passed away just two years after that break-even moment.

There were no awards for Harold and Maude, but Cort and Gordon did grab a couple of Golden Globe nominations. The film's ending gets my vote if there is ever a category for Best Use of a Banjo Aside from Deliverance. 

We may want to pair wines both young and old, to honor the stars. Perhaps a Beaujolais Nouveau and a Champagne pulled from a turn-of-the-century shipwreck.  However, I would like to reference Cat Stevens from the movie's soundtrack. "Bring tea for the tillerman, steak for the sun, wine for the woman who made the rain come." Well, Pinot Noir has tea notes, it goes great with steak, and what better way to spend a rainy day? Maude Pinot Noir comes from the Mt. Maude Vineyard in Central Otago, New Zealand for around $25. 

In 1970's Brewster McCloud, Cort played the title role, a guy who lives in the Houston Astrodome. As living spaces go, the 'Dome offers plenty of room and great light, but it can get a bit chilly when the air conditioning is on. Which, in Houston, is most of the time. 

Director Robert Altman gave us McCloud as a modern day Icarus, who was building a pair of wings somewhere in the bowels of the world's Eighth Wonder. Like Icarus, Brewster wanted to fly, but failed in a spectacular fashion. 

When I lived in southeast Texas, I witnessed a number of baseball and football games in the Astrodome, but never did I encounter anyone working on a pair of wings. Even if I had, it would have been a bummer. A bird trying to fly its way out of an enclosed space is one of the sadder sights known to man. 

Afianes Wines has a Greek red named Icarus, made from Fokiano grapes. It comes with a picture of the birdman on the label and costs close to $70.

Brain Dead is a psychological horror movie from 1989. Psychological horror is what you have when the lab in the film is full of brains in jars. Any movie with brains in jars gets at least one good mark, more if one of the brains is from Abbie Normal.

Cort joins a couple of Bills in the cast, Pullman and Paxton. He plays a former genius at math who is now a resident at a funny farm. The brilliant doctor convinces him to undergo surgery that will either fix his addled brain or release all the secrets contained in it. Somehow, the lunatic gets to make the decision. 

There are plenty of lab coats in this picture. And plenty of cerebellums to play with. Everybody is a neuroscientist, it seems. Hey, it's not brain surgery. But wait… it is. Or is it? They keep you guessing until the credits roll. Just remember, it's not paranoia if they really are out to get your brain.

Sine Qua Non chief wine surgeon Manfred Krankl figured out a way to turn wine into money better than most others who have learned the trick. His 17th Nail In My Cranium is listed online at well over $1,000. Now, that's crazy. Anyone paying that much for a bottle of wine should have their head examined.

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Herzog, A Tradition For Passover

The Herzog family moved to the United States in 1948, but they had already been producing wine in their native Czechoslovakia for six generations. The Herzogs survived fascism and communism before leaving Europe for New York City, where they faced poverty and beat that, too. They now specialize in making kosher wines from a variety of locations in California, one of them being Clarksburg, on the Sacramento River.

The 2024 Herzog Special Reserve Clarksburg Pinot Noir has alcohol hitting 14% abv, and the bottle sells for about $40.

This wine exhibits the earth of Clarksburg, most notably. The nose also features cherry, mocha, and black tea aromas. The palate is somewhat rustic, with notes of cherry, raspberry, coffee, and cola coming forward. The tannins are firm, yet subtle. This is a kosher for Passover wine, non mevushal, and one that will provide a nice pairing with brisket or any other type of beef dish. 

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Bordeaux Right Bank - Eight Years Later

The 2018 Marius Bielle Lalande de Pomerol is a right bank wine from Bordeaux. In fact, it is labelled as a Grand Vin de Bordeaux. The appellation is Lalande de Pomerol, north of the Pomerol region. The grapes are grown organically and biodynamically, 97% Merlot and 3% Cabernet Franc. Alcohol sits at 14% and the retail price is about $41. 

This wine is inky dark. The nose is a savory expression of black plum, blackberry, anise, and a very faint whiff of smoke, much fainter than I expected. I kept waiting for some chocolate notes to appear, but I never got them. The aromas hit me as sharp, not soft, if that makes sense. The palate offers a fruitier side of the wine, with cassis, berries, and licorice in the mix. The tannins are quite firm yet, and they pucker the mouth a bit. The finish is long and savory. Hopefully you have a good steak at hand with which to pair it. 

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A Bargain From Bordeaux

Les Portes de Bordeaux 2023 is described on the label as a Grand Vin de Bordeaux, which hits close to the mark, if not directly on it. The portes, or gates, of Bordeaux are giant, ancient structures that date back almost a millennium. What does that have to do with this wine? Probably nothing, except that it is a wine produced in Bordeaux and the drawing of the gate looks good on the label. 

The maker is LWX Wines, which is a company that sources, produces, packages, and delivers exclusive adult beverages to retailers. This one came from Trader Joe's, where I often pick up wine for cooking. 

The 2023 Les Portes de Bordeaux handles that task easily, and it drinks nicely, too. The grapes are Cabernet Franc, Merlot, and Cabernet Sauvignon, alcohol is rather low, at 13% abv, and it costs $7 at Trader Joe's. 

This wine is inky dark in the glass. The nose is fairly beautiful, with a large whiff of black fruit like blackberry, blueberry, and currant dominating over the sniff of smoke and the note of graphite. The same sort of fruit is forward on the palate, and the tannic grip is enough, but not too much. It is a satisfying Bordeaux, and it worked well in my beef stew. 

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In Hungary It's Kékfrankos, But You Can Call It Blaufränkisch

Today’s wine comes from a little town in Hungary, Hajós, about a two hour drive south from Budapest. It’s from a winery called Sziegl Pince, but they call it Sziegl Winery. "They," by the way, are Petra and Balázs. They are Sziegl Winery, the two of them. They grow grapes and make wine from those grapes, and no doubt a lot more boring things that two people do to keep a business afloat.

Petra and Balázs say they "work exclusively with organic farming, love to experiment, {and} never make the same wine twice." They say they are “constantly looking for the new in the old.”

The grapes in question here are Kékfrankos, also known in some parts as Blaufränkisch. They were grown in the Hársfás-út vineyard in the vintage year 2020, which you may remember was a tough year for a lot of folks, not just winemakers. The Sziegl Kékfrankos has an alcohol level of 13.5% abv and a retail price of $42.

This wine has a medium-dark tint. The nose shows raspberry, minerality, and coffee notes. The palate brings a sense of Pinot Noir, but on the rustic side. Tart fruit takes a slightly sweeter role, while the tannins are firm, but forgiving. 

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Bubbles For Your Valentine

The Albert Bichot Crémant de Bourgogne Brut Rosé will add some sparkle to your Valentine's Day, at a nice price. 

Crémant is the name for French sparkling wine made in places other than Champagne. The grapes are 80% Pinot Noir, 15% Chardonnay, and a splash of Gamay, just for fun. The Pinot was grown in the Côtes Chalonnaise region, the Chardonnay came from Auxerrois, while the Gamay hails from Mâconnais. Alcohol hits only 12% abv and it can be found for less than $30. 

This wine has a brilliant pink color and produces plenty of fine white froth on the pour. The nose has a striking note of orange, joined by raspberry, cherry, and mineral aromas. The mouthfeel is full and fruit flavors nudge the toasty aspect over a bit. Medium acidity makes for a nice sip, and a pairing with cheese comes naturally. 

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A Bargain Lambrusco Rings The Bell

I have never had a Lambrusco that I absolutely hated, so it's easy for me to spot a potential bargain. The Le Grotte Lambrusco Rosso Dolce is only about $5 at Trader Joe's, so the price is right for a bargain wine, now it just has to be good. 

The wine is subtitled as a "soft red wine," which I suppose is accurate, but the reference to "sweet" is a little off base. It’s a bit darker and more earthy than those words imply. The grapes come from Italy's Emilia-Romagna region, and alcohol checks in low at only 8.5% abv.

This wine is slightly frizzante upon pouring, the purple bubbles dissipating quickly. A whiff reveals fragrant, ripe cherries and concord grapes. The palate is soft and round, full of fresh fruit, a touch of earth and some tingly acidity. Complexity is not the issue here, as it might be with other Lambruscos. This is an extremely drinkable and food-friendly wine. A true bargain. 

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Champagne for Valentine's Day

With Valentine's Day on the horizon, we always find ourselves looking for pink wines. With bubbles, please. It's more romantic that way.

Champagne Mandois is located in the Premier Cru village of Pierry. The estate is under the control of the same family who has owned and operated it for nine generations. That's close to 250 Valentine's Days.

The Mandois non-vintage Brut Rosé Grande Réserve is made up of 30% Chardonnay grapes, 35% Pinot Noir, and 35% Pinot Meunier. Alcohol stays low at 12% abv and the retail price is $70. 

This wine pours up with a salmon pink color. The white bubbles disappear rather quickly. Aromas of ripe strawberry explode from the nose, mixing with a bit of lemon peel. The palate shows a bushel of red fruit along with a strong minerality and a citrus undercurrent. The acidity is lively and refreshing. Big time drinkability joins extreme food friendliness in this bubbly. 

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Light And Bouncy Red From Ribeiro

The 2022 Cume do Avia Colleita No. 10 is a light red wine from Spain’s Ribeiro region, in Galicia. The Source Imports, of Moorpark, CA, have some rich notes about the winery and the grapes. 

The main grape is Caiño Longo (40%), one of the oldest known indigenous varieties in Ribeiro. The importer calls it a “lightning bolt of freshness with an atomic level of expansive energy.” Makes you want to open it right away, doesn’t it? Sousón (34%) has a “turbo charge of natural acidity,” while Brancellao (26%) is “dainty, thin framed, soft spoken and subtly powerful.” The region is cool anyway, and the fruit is picked on the early side of ripeness.

Cume do Avia’s “geologically complex mountainside vineyards are composed of granodiorite, schist, slate, and gneiss bedrock, clay and sand topsoil” overlooking the Avia and Miño Rivers.

Colleita 10 Tinto is 40% whole cluster, aged nine months in large, ancient chestnut foudres. It is lightly filtered before bottling. Alcohol is a lilting 11% abv while the retail price is $26.

The wine has a medium-light ruby color. The aromatic nose is nearly all minerals, with raspberry and black pepper notes. The palate is smooth and savory, with tart red fruit flavors. The taste reminds me of a very Burgundian Pinot Noir or a Schiava from Italy’s Alpine region. The tannins are quite relaxed, and the acidity is on the tame side, too. It is a tasty wine, though. Pair it with soft cheese or a fruit plate. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Fairy Tales

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌ See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ This week, we toast three films dealing in fairy tales, from good, to funny, to very bad.

Once upon a time there were two brothers. They are the subject of The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm, a 1962 fantasy version of a biopic. Grimm was filmed in the Cinerama process, lending a surreal quality to the fairy tales within. Directed largely by Henry Levin, he was ably assisted by George Pal overseeing the stop-motion animation. 

Karl Boehm and Laurence Harvey star as the Grimm brothers, Jacob and Wilhelm, respectively. Jacob was the business side of the partnership, while Wilhelm was the dreamer. It was Wilhelm who wrote all the fairy tales which became the staple of their legacy.

An extensive restoration of the damaged celluloid wrapped up about four years ago, and the reports were off the charts. It's a dazzling story, interspersed with some of the lesser-known Grimm stories. 

Iron Horse Fairy Tale Celebration Cuvée is the choice, naturally. The sparkling blanc de blancs is featured at Disney parks, so the fairy tale cred is there. And they lived happily ever after. 

1981's Time Bandits is a fantasy, directed by Terry Gilliam, of Monty Python fame. Also in the cast are John Cleese and Michael Palin, both also from the Flying Circus. Sean Connery, David Rappaport, and Shelly Duvall each have roles, too, among many other great character actors. 

This is a rather weird fairy tale, as there are some disturbing elements to it. But how disturbing is a witch trying to cook and eat a child? See Hansel and Gretel to find out how that turned out. Or Bugs Bunny in Bewitched Bunny, where the witch has a rabbit dinner planned. Wilhelm Grimm did have a grim edge to the stories he passed along as children's entertainment. 

Bandits has a kid leaving the safety of his bedroom to follow some dwarves as they use a map of time-space portals to plunder treasures. All ends well, except maybe for the kid's parents. If your child tells you not to touch that cinder in the toaster oven, you should heed the advice.

Bandit Wines are ready for the adventure of your choice. Packaged in an ecological carton, it won't break in your backpack. You don't need a corkscrew, either, because the cap twists right off.

Wishmaster is a 1997 slasher film, the sort that crawls out from its hiding place each October as a treat, or a trick. Much death and cruelty is dealt out in the film's running time, and by various means, not just knife work. Robert Englund brings some slashability to the movie.

A djinn is released from his confines, and we all know where that sort of thing leads. Wishes will be granted. However, this evil genie has a separate agenda which does not involve serving the person who uncorked him. This genie really brings to life the warning that one should be careful about what one wishes for. 

I would wish for a nice, dry, Provençal rosé to go with this movie, preferably one which has the word "genie" on its label. Here we have just what we wished for. Coup de Genie makes this pinkie from Grenache, Cinsault and Syrah grapes grown in the sunny south of France. At least when you uncork it, you know it won't uncork you.

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Prosecco: Joyous And Amorous

La Gioiosa et Amorosa Prosecco comes from Treviso, in the Veneto region of Italy. The words in the name translate to "joyous and amorous," so it's a perfect cork to pop for a special occasion. We had some on New Year’s Eve. Most folks spring for a Champagne on that date, but my wife and I didn't plan on staying up late and she doesn't drink a lot of alcohol anyway. This enabled us to have a nice toast.

The Prosecco was made from 100% Glera grapes, alcohol hits only 11% abv, and it sells for less than $20.

This wine is very pale, almost clear. The bubbles rise quickly and dissipate the same way, leaving a frizzante juice. The nose is mineral-based, with hints of lemon, peach, pear, and flowers. The palate shows a split between fruit and minerals, maybe leaning a bit more into minerals. Acidity is nice, but not racy. It's a pleasant sip, suitable for pairing with a soft cheese, fruit, or a salad. 

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Valentine Champagne From Pommery

Pommery & Greno was founded in 1858 by Alexandre Louis Pommery and Narcisse Greno. They were a leading Champagne house then, and still are today, just under a bigger corporate umbrella. The house is now a part of the Vranken-Pommery Monopole Group.

Clément Pierlot is the 10th cellar master of Pommery champagnes. He oversees the Brut Rosé Royal, which brings together nearly forty different crus from Champagne. It is made from a blend of red wine and different vintages vinified as white wine. The grapes used are Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Meunier. Alcohol is 12.5% abv and the retail price is around $75. 

This wine pours up with a frothy, white head with persistent bubbles. The color is a pretty onion skin pink. On the nose, the yeasty aroma dominates the apple, berry, and pear notes. The palate displays flavors of apple, toast, and minerality. The acidity is fantastic and the finish is lengthy. 

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Smooth Rioja Red

The 2023 Barrio Pastores was made by Carlos Mazo and Isabel Ruiz in the Rioja village of Aldeanueva de Ebro. The wine was made from old-vine Garnacha grapes, whole-cluster, foot trodden, and aged eleven months in 3,000-liter oaken vats. Fermentation starts spontaneously, with indigenous yeasts. Alcohol hits 13.5% abv and the wine sells for about $29. 

This wine has a medium-dark ruby color. It showed a bit of brown on the pour, but only a hint around the rim in the glass. The nose is laden with black fruit and cassis. A note of spice also comes forth. The palate is quite gentle, with fine tannins and that boatload of dark fruit. It's the smoothest Rioja I've ever had. Pair it with pork. 

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Blood Of The Vines - Tashlinesque

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌ See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ This week, we hoist a glass to a trio of films directed by Frank Tashlin. 

The Alphabet Murders is a British film from 1965. The story was taken from an Agatha Christie novel, so we can expect it to be top-notch. If you're a Hercule Poirot fan, we can take that a notch higher, if there is one. The book was actually titled The A.B.C. Murders. The entertainment industry had apparently gotten over the notion that they had to spell it out for us. 

The cast includes Tony Randall, Anita Ekberg, and Robert Morley. Randall is given the role of Poirot. If that seems an odd choice to you, there's a club you can join that includes most of the critics of the mid-'60s. My wife has a computer which stays on shows featuring Hercule Poirot, so I feel I can speak from an area of a certain expertise. Tony Randall was a great leading man's best friend, but a great Belgian detective he wasn't.

The story strays quite a bit from the book, which is not unusual in the movie biz. Our featured director, Tashlin, specialized in wringing a bit of humor out of whatever script was in front of him. The humor centered on Clouseau-ish slapstick, raising the hackles of more than one scribe. One thing you don't want to do to a scribe is raise hackles. The movie's plot is thrown into action by the death of a clown, which, in the old joke, is called "a good start."

An unusual movie deserves an unusual wine. Alphabet Wine is a Georgian Saperavi, for those who want a little adventure when they pop the cork. A New York importer sells it for $24.

From 1957, Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter was a satire on advertising, mainly. Advertising happens to be a topic that lends itself quite conveniently to satire. Tashlin borrowed minimally from the Broadway play of the same name in writing the screenplay. By minimally, we mean he liked the title. 

Jayne Mansfield stars along with, well whaddaya know, Tony Randall in this one. The role of lowly adman Rockwell P. Hunter was intended for Ed Sullivan, but he turned it down. From Ed Sullivan to Tony Randall seems like a long jump, but that was Tashlin's problem, since he was the producer as well the director. A Hollywood problem.

Mansfield's Rita Marlowe applies her beauty to rescuing Stay-Put lipstick from the bargain bin. Hunter acts as her boyfriend in a public relations move, which doesn't sit well with his real-life fiancée. He soars from the basement to the boardroom, only to find that it's lonely at the top. All ends well when Rock and the fiancée retire to a chicken ranch, which must be someone's idea of a great retirement, just not mine. 

I searched and searched for a lipstick wine, but all I got were entries from CoverGirl, Revlon, and Maybelline. I struck gold, or red, I guess, with Boucher Wines. Their Lipstick On A Pig red blend is heavy on the Santa Barbara County Syrah and it, no kidding, pairs well with bacon. $26.

From 1956, the dawn of rock'n'roll, we have The Girl Can't Help It. Mansfield stars in this one, too, as the girl who can't help it, naturally. Girl was written as a way to show off Mansfield as a singer who wasn't too good at singing. Throw in a host of rock stars and some screaming teenagers and you've got a Saturday afternoon matinee miracle on your hands. 

The musical cast features Fats Domino, Little Richard, Eddie Cochran, and Gene Vincent, among other less brilliant stars of '50s rock'n'roll. The music carries this film, as it shows all the excitement of those early rockin' days while, thankfully, overshadowing the intrigue involving the singer, the promoter, and a mobster. Little Richard's performance on the title song is a revelation. The film influenced rock stars of the following decades, including a couple of guys named Lennon and McCartney. They reportedly broke up a recording session at Abbey Road to go home and watch the movie's premiere on British TV.

Elvis Presley wasn't in The Girl Can’t Help It, but he probably should have been. The rumor is that his cellblock scene in Jailhouse Rock was inspired by this Tashlin film. Elvis Presley - The King is a $20 Cabernet Sauvignon with the icon of '50s rock on the label.

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